#I've wanted to ramble about this for ages but didn't feel right with so little rbs
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vio1315 · 1 year ago
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Man, idk how to express my thoughts lately
Thinking that maybe I just dislike art, but rather love artistry?
Not entirely sure but it's like
When I watch people discussing the sort of cinematography in a scene, or how the composition is indicating this or that
or hear people talk about consistent symbolism and all this
It's like
A thrill. It makes me want to make things.
But if I watch the actual scene or go through the media myself
I just do not care?
It is often that I torrent emotions and the like from others, so not sure if it's connected to that, but I'm not really sure why else it'd be that I can go through hundreds of pieces of art in various mediums and just
not care at all
And the things I do care about are generally considered mid at best from the majority of people
The thing that got me into kagepro was Mekakucity Actors which most people dislike
And it is kind of jank in a lot of places
Yet that was something I was passionate for. Yet I end up avoiding My Hero all this time, which must be something with polish?? Didn't really care for the modern Trigun.
The Rakugo anime? Yeah, hooked on that. Its target audience of 12 whole people. (It was a lot better done than MCA don't get me wrong)
One of my favorite pieces of media in general is Marble Hornets. A found footage yt series made on 0 budget and among people who mostly had limited acting experience at best
Favorite movie in recent times? Luca. Split like 50/50 on how people respond to that.
All the books I like are from like the 50's idk
Sable (the game) did something to me
Yet that was just a step above a walking sim depending on who you ask, and a bit buggy
Like
obviously I like some mainstream stuff too
mostly games
But there's a definite pattern. Just not sure what it means or how these two pieces of information fit together.
Like why is watching reviews so much more artistically motivating compared to actually engaging in media directly?
Heck my whole art inspo folder just about is full of things I don't care about anymore. I can't really find art I like anymore mostly, and even less so that I want to emulate
What exactly am I looking for with art that I struggle to find, but do find in analysis?
Not super sure
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ahgasegotarmy116 · 6 months ago
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Faking It | Jeon Jungkook | Chapter One
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Summary: Being divorced by the time you're thirty isn't the best feeling in the world but what happens when your parents find someone from your past that's in a similar boat? Pairing: f!reader (30) x Single Dad Jungkook (33) (Arranged Marriage Slow Burn?) Word Count: 11.3k (oh man holy shit) Warnings: Troubles with conceiving/seeing pregnancies to full term, Jungkook's first wife passed away in childbirth. (These themes will be spoken about throughout the fic and I will add extra warnings when need be in future chapters) a/n: Okay this one is gonna be a long one (in terms of chapter length, idk how many parts there will be) I'm really really in love with this story line so I hope you'll come along this cute, silly, awkward, heartwarming and heartbreaking journey with me 🥰 p.s. I've been brainstorming with @kkusadmirer (ofc 🤭) about this fic for a while now and I've just fallen in love with these characters too much that I had to get at least one part out. Okay okay enough from me. I hope you enjoy! (barely edited per usual I'm sry 😅)
"You should start dating again" my mom says to me, a dinner with a table for two this time since she said she wanted to talk to me about something important. If I would've known it was to nag me about something like this again I would've declined the invitation.
"Mom I already told you, I just got divo-" "You got divorced last year" she cuts me off and I sigh, knowing I'll probably get no where with this argument but continue on nevertheless.
"Point being, it hasn't been that long since Robert and I got divorced. I need time and space to figure out what I want out of life. I'm not interested in rushing into another marriage just for it to fail again" I explain and she simply downs the rest of her champagne in response, polishing it off in record time.
"You don't want to end up an old maid who didn't give me any grandchildren do you?" she says, repeating the same old argument again. "Mom I'm thirty, not forty five. I still have plenty of time to worry about babies and getting married again" I argue and she rolls her eyes before asking for another glass when the waiter passes by.
"You should at least try. Don't you like going out on dates?" she asks and I sigh, hating having this conversation over and over again.
"Dating was fun in my twenties but now that I'm more interested in finding someone to settle down with, it seems like all the guys that are remotely my age and happen to be decent human beings are already married" I explain and watch how she immediately takes her glass of champagne off the table once it's placed in front of her.
I'm glad she's drinking because having this conversation with her when she's sober is even more painful.
"You're exaggerating honey. I'm sure there is a fine young man just waiting for you around the corner" but before I'm able to respond to her, her eyes suddenly light up and she quickly gets out of her seat.
"Is it really you?" she says and another woman around her age that I've never seen before comes up to greet her. "How are you? It's been so long!" the mystery woman says and they quickly share an embrace before she turns to face me.
"And who is this beautiful young woman here with you?" she asks, making me shy away from them. "Oh this is my daughter y/n. Y/n this is Mrs. Jeon" she introduces us and tells me all about how they used to go to college together.
"Oh wow I think I remember my mom mentioning you before. You used to come over when I was little right?" I question, now remembering seeing her face in some of the pictures in my baby album.
"That's right! Little Jungkook and I used to come visit you all the time when you were just a teeny tiny little thing. You were the easiest baby I've ever come across, always sleeping and when you woke up you were as happy as can be" she rambles and I get a warm feeling in my chest, loving to have met someone who clearly cared so deeply for my mother and I.
"Who's Jungkook" I ask, looking back and forth between the two of them. "Jungkook is my son, he's just a few years older than you. I remember he was so fascinated by you, always wanting to come over and would watch over you as you slept, never causing a fuss as long as you were around" she says and I blush at the fact that her son would care about me just as much if not more than she does.
"How is he? Is he doing alright?" my mother asks and Mrs. Jeon gets a somber look on her face eyes fluttering to the floor before responding.
"Actually, he lost his wife a few years ago. She passed away after she gave birth to their daughter" she mumbles and I feel my chest tighten up at the thought of someone so young losing their life to something that is supposed to be so beautiful.
"My condolences to you all" I say, my eyes going glossy and she smiles in return, the memory bringing a tear to her eye as well. "Thank you love, that's very kind of you" she says, placing a hand on my shoulder before she clears her throat and blinks back her tears, wanting to put on a brave face in public.
"Why don't you come visit us at our home tomorrow evening? I would love to catch up and it would be good if the kids got reacquainted again" my mother suggests and I glare at her, knowing exactly what she's doing but also knowing there's no way I could stop her. 
"I would love that! Our husbands might enjoy catching up too since they used to get along so well" Mrs. Jeon points out. "Then it's settled! How would you feel about making it a dinner instead?" my mother questions, digging us deeper into this evening we'll all be spending together. "I think that sounds perfect!" she agrees and I tune out the rest of the conversation, already trying to mentally prepare myself for the scheming I know my mother has planned.
~~~~
Kicking off my shoes and walking into my apartment I'm greeted by the serene sound of silence. 
My black tuxedo cat meows as he jumps down from his cat tower and stretches for a second before coming over to greet me. "Hi Salem" I say, scooping him up and carrying him with me into my bedroom where I plop him down in the middle of my bed. "Mom only invited me to dinner because she wanted to tell me to start dating again" I relay to him, while I walk around my room, grabbing all the things I'll need to get ready for bed.
"I should've known she was up to something when she decided to invite me out on a random Wednesday night to go to my favorite restaurant. If the previous glances I had of the totals on those receipts didn't clue me in enough I don't know what would" I say in disbelief, having convinced myself hours earlier that it might've been about something good instead of another chance to nag me about something.
"I don't know why I even bother sometimes. She just has this worst case scenario mindset that I'm going to die alone and not leave a legacy. I understand that I'm their only child but with the way she talks, you would think I was well into my forties already" I say, verbally processing to him while he curls up into a ball, his eyes watch me walk back and forth until I walk into the en-suite bathroom to turn on the shower.
"Thanks for always listening to me Salem" I say, walking back over to him and scratching his head, "Don't know what I would do without you" I mumble before walking back over to the bathroom and closing the door.
Looking in the mirror I study my features, my hair styled just how I like it, my brows perfectly shaped but when I get to my eyes I notice it. I notice why my mother has gotten so worried about me.
It's as if the light's gone out of them. It's more than just 'Hey it's been a long day and I'm tired' no it's 'I don't even know what I'm doing here anymore' and for the first time, I admit to myself that I truly feel that way.
I reach for my cleanser and quickly wash off the little makeup that I still have on, lips completely plain and gone back to their natural color and some how my cheeks don't seem to be as rosy anymore after I had made sure to put on some more blush today to bring some color back to my face. Maybe it's not the makeup that's been washing me out, but the way that I've been living.
I will admit my days consist of going to work and coming home and doing that same thing over and over again. I don't really go out much and I only have a few friends but ever since I got divorced I just end up politely declining any sort of invitation I get from them. Doesn't matter if it's dinner or drinks or clubbing or even just a shopping trip.
I just can't get myself wanting to do anything anymore.
I step into the shower and I flinch slightly at the burning sensation the hot water brings to me but adjust it and step further under the stream once it's just to my liking. While going though my shower routine mindlessly I start trying to get to the bottom of what has got me living like this.
Robert wasn't the best husband in the world, mainly because he cheated on me but before that things were good between us. He made me laugh and was a perfect gentleman that always made me feel special and when we got married I swear I thought I couldn't be happier. 
It felt like my life was falling into place, our life.
Until it wasn't.
I'm knocked out of my train of thought when I hear Salem pawing at the door and remember now that in my whirl winded state of mind I forgot to feed him. "Sorry Salem I'll be right out!" I call out for him and he meows in response. I swear that cat is more intelligent than I am most days.
I finish up my uninteresting night as I always do, turning out the lights and cuddling up with Salem until I eventually fall asleep but it took a little longer tonight. Thoughts full of what my future might look like if I don't start living instead of just existing. 
As the 'what ifs' plague my mind they eventually drown themselves out as that same welcoming feeling of calm finally lulls me to sleep. 
~~~~~~
"Hurry up they're almost here" my mother says, yanking me inside the house before I even have a chance to knock on the front door. "Nice to see you too mom" I say under my breath and she's wound up so tight it doesn't even phase her. I can tell she's been working hard to make sure everything is perfect once the Jeons arrive.
"Did you get that wine I told you to get?" she questions, her eyes lighting up at the sight of the wine bottle carrier in my hand, quickly taking it and rushing into the kitchen. "Yeah no problem mom you're welcome" I say, talking to the air in front of me still waiting for her to show any sign of gratitude.
"Go place your things in your old room so they're out of the way" she call out, leaving me sighing and trudging off to do as she says.
Once I retrace my steps and walk past the door to go to join her in the kitchen I'm stopped in my tracks when the doorbell rings.
"Oh honey can you get that? My hands are tied here" my mom yells and I take a deep breath in and out before doing just that.
"Hello y/n! It's so nice to see you again" Mrs. Jeon greets me as I step aside and let them in, soon after her is her husband who holds out his hand in greeting. "It's been quiet a long time hasn't it? I remember when you use to be-" "Grandpa! Grandpa! I wanna meet the pretty lady too!" a little girl no older than five years old says, walking around her grandfather's legs to get to me, greeting me with the most adorable bunny smile.
"And now who might this be?" I ask, already melting into a puddle from seeing how absolutely adorable she is. "I'm Juni" she laughs when I go down to her level. "Well it's very nice to meet you Juni and how old are you?" I ask and she lights up when I continue taking an interest in her. "I'm four! Well Daddy says I'm turning five soon but it feels like it's taking forever. Right Daddy?" she says and looks back towards the man now left standing in the doorway.
"That's right Juni" he responds and the deep tenor of his voice sends a slight shiver down my spine, so full of love and admiration that is obvious to anyone who might come across the pair. "Oh!" I say, quickly straightening back up to meet this mysterious Jungkook and my throat goes dry once I've laid eyes on him.
Tall, strong build, dark brown hair that's well taken care of and styled perfectly, strong jawline accompanied by the contrast of the softest look in his brown almost black galaxy eyes that are still focused on his beautiful daughter.
"I'm sorry" I say but he shakes his head before he turns his head in my direction, taking in the sight of me as well before speaking. "That's alright, Juni kind of grabs everyone's attention right away" he says giving me a soft smile. "I'm Jungkook" he says, holding his hand out to me. "Y/n" I say shyly and shake it, his hands being much larger than mine is comforting in a way.
"My mom told me we used to come see you when we still lived here" he says once we let go, Juni now quietly watching our exchange. "Used to?" I question, curious to know more about why our mothers had lost touch. "We went back to our hometown for a while and then moved back to the city soon after Juni was born" he says and I nod my head, accepting that as an answer for now but wanting to know more.
"Sounds like I was just an infant though so I don't really have any memory of it" I admit while rocking back and forth on my heels, a nervous habit I've picked up over the years. "It's alright, I didn't expect you to remember" he chuckles, "I was only three so I don't remember much of it either" we laugh at his returned confession and a more comfortable air settles between us.
"Well it's nice to finally meet you" I say and he nods his head. "Likewise" he replies and we stand there for a moment, not really knowing where to go from here then, thankfully Juni breaks the silence.
"Daddy I wanna talk to the pretty lady" she says and grabs my hand and pulls me away from him. "Be nice Juni" he warns and she pouts, leaving me crouching down to her level and tilting my head to meet her gaze. "There's enough of me to go around little one. Don't worry" I say, booping her on the nose and making her giggle again.
Jungkook walks in a bit more and closes the door behind him, watching our little exchange before my mother comes out to check on us.
"Y/n why don't you take Jungkook and..." she says trailing off, not having learned his daughter's name yet. "Juni" Jungkook says and my mother smiles at the sound of the adorable name. "Jungkook and Juni outside. I'm sure she'd love to run around a little bit before dinner is ready" she suggests and I agree while Juni starts jumping up and down, excited to explore an unfamiliar place.
Jungkook follows closely behind as I lead the way but I ultimately end up getting dragged along by Juni who is surprisingly perceptive and has already mapped out the door that we'll be going through. "Come on Daddy keep up!" she calls after him once we've reached the door, looking back and seeing that he's fallen behind.
"I'm right behind you Juni" Jungkook chuckles and once we step outside Juni lets go and runs back and forth all around the yard, looking at anything and everything she can find.
"Be careful!" I say, worried that she could hurt herself but Jungkook comes over and stands next to me and reassures me she'll be fine.
"It's alright, if she gets hurt it'll be a little reminder to pay attention to what she's doing next time. That's the only way kids really learn right?" he says turning towards me, granting me with a soft smile, almost as if he's looking for validation on his parenting choice.
"Of course," I respond, returning the smile, "even some adults need to crash and burn before they learn their lesson sometimes" I point out and it makes him relax a bit more, thankful to see that he's right in his dealings with situations like this.
"She's a good kid" I say after leading him over to the patio set we have out here so we can sit down and watch her. "Thanks, it's been difficult raising her on my own so I'm never really sure if I'm doing a good job or not" he admits and I nod my head, taking a second to think about my response since it's a sensitive subject.
"I can tell that you love her very much so I have no doubt in my mind that you'll always do right by her" and I can tell that my words bring him a sense of comfort. Being a single parent can be extremely difficult especially when you lose the love of your life as soon as you become a father. 
I wouldn't wish that pain on anyone.
"Y/n?" I hear him call out and realize that my mind had drifted off for a second. "I'm sorry what did you say?" I say, my cheeks heating up from having been caught daydreaming. "I asked if you had any children of your own" he chuckles and I again try to figure out the best way to word this but figure the best way to go about it is to be honest. 
I've got no reason to hide from him.
"No, I got divorced last year and my ex husband and I were never able to have children" I say, looking down at my lap, embarrassed to have admitted it but also feeling a certain weight lifted off my shoulders.
"Oh, I'm sorry. I didn't know" he trails off and I panic, realizing I might've made him feel uncomfortable, telling him something so personal so soon. "No don't be, I honestly dodged a bullet with that one" I chuckle, hoping to lighten the situation a bit which thankfully it does as I see his body relax a bit.
"Our relationship had been on the rocks soon after we got married and I don't think we were a good match for each other so I think it was the universe's way of doing me a favor in making us somewhat biologically incompatible" I chuckle and he softly does the same.
"Biologically incompatible" he questions, a deeper meaning obviously hidden behind those words. "We both got checked out and everything looked completely fine but I guess it wasn't meant to be, thank God" I sigh, sincerely thanking whoever might've been in charge of making that executive decision for us.
"I'm not exactly sure what to say to that but I'm glad it worked out?" he states almost as if it was a question and I laugh, in response hoping I can recover this incredibly awkward conversation. "I'm sorry, that was a huge overshare that I probably should've kept to myself" I say, clearing my throat in hopes it would aid in clearing the peculiar air that had settled between us.
"You have nothing to apologize for, I asked and I feel honored that you felt comfortable enough to be so transparent with your answer" he says, the warmth in his tone giving me an ache in my chest. How could someone be so kind to someone they've just met? It's as if I could tell him anything and he would listen to me as if I was the only person in the world.
"Daddy!" 'Well me and Juni', I say to myself and watch as his attention now shifts to his daughter who is running up behind me. "Daddy look!" Juni says, holding out her hands that are now thoroughly caked in mud but hold a rock that is almost a perfectly shaped heart in the center of her palm. "Oh Juni" Jungkook chuckles, the ends of her dress now matching the state of her hands and neither Jungkook nor I can hold in our laughter.
"That's a very beautiful rock Juni! You're so clever" I say and I can see a sense of pride straighten her posture a little bit. "Juni your beautiful dress" Jungkook chuckles, clearly not minding but also trying to figure out what to do. "I'm sorry Daddy" she say, that pride slowly dwindling after seeing the mess she's made of herself.
"Hey Juni" I say, turning her attention back to me and I can see her spirits lift a little. "Would you like to see some of the clothes that I used to wear when I was your age?" I ask and her eyes light up at the thought. "Did you wear pretty dresses too?" she asks, clearly excited about seeing more new things. Her childlike wonderment makes my heart ache. Must run in the family.
"I did, but none of them were as pretty as yours. If you like, you can borrow one of mine while we wash this one" I suggest and the way her head nods up and down so fast makes me chuckle.
"Let's go to my room then! Hopefully we can find something you'll like" I say, standing up and straightening my dress while Jungkook reaches out for Juni's foot.
"Let's take your shoes off before we go back inside baby. We wouldn't want to track any mud into the pretty lady's house right?" Jungkook says, flashing a soft smile at me before looking back down to complete his intended task and Juni complies right away. 
My breath hitches as he purposefully uses the nickname Juni had given me and I quickly walk past them and open the door to go inside, trying to clear my head for a second, willing myself to keep it together.  
"Are you coming with us?" Juni asks and he nods his head, "I gotta go clean your shoes off first though" he says and I walk all three of us over to the bathroom so Jungkook can do just that as well as wash Juni's hands off.
"Wow!" is the first word that comes out of her mouth when we walk into the butterfly themed bedroom, mesmerizing her from the first glance. "Your room is so pretty!" she says, quickly running around here and there, being careful not to get too close since we haven't gotten a chance to change her dress yet.
"You like it?" I question and she's quick to nod her head again. "I wish my room looked like this" she says, spying all of the little butterfly details from the dainty embroidering on the bedspread to the knobs on the dresser, all of them working in harmony.
"We can go look for some butterfly stuff next time we go to the store if you'd like" Jungkook says while he walks into the room and right up to her while she stares up at the ceiling where there are a couple scattered across it. Nothing is too over the top but there is clearly a theme going on that she is captivated by.
"Really?" she asks, confirmation of what he's said being important to make sure she's hear him right. "Promise" he says holding out his pinky that she quickly wraps her's around as best as she can with her little ones being so tiny in comparison to his. She looks at the two of us before beckoning Jungkook to come closer so she can whisper something in his ear.
"Can the pretty lady come with us too?" she 'whispers' in his ear almost as loud as her speaking voice and I try to hold back my laughter, pretending like I didn't hear a thing. "Why don't you ask her?" he whispers and when he leans back she looks him in the eyes and he nods to further encourage her.
"Um, would you like to go shopping with us to get butterflies for my room too?" she asks, walking up to me shyly. Jungkook looks at me with a soft smile and I notice how the tips of his ears have almost gotten a little pink, his expression soft and charming but his body still showing tell tale signs of nervousness.
"Sure Juni, I'd love to go shopping with you" I say and she giggles in response while running back to her Daddy. "Can we go right now?" she asks jumping up and down. "We'll go another time don't worry baby, we've gotta set up a time so the pretty lady can go with us too right?" he reminds her and although she's sad she has to wait she nods in agreement. "Good, now let's get you out of this so we can make you all nice and clean again" he says, unzipping the back of her dress and revealing the cute little white tank top and tights that she wore under it.
I focus my attention on opening up the closet and grabbing a couple of dresses out for her to choose from. "These ones should fit. Which one would you like to wear Juni?" I say and her eyes flitter back and forth between all of them before giving her a Daddy a devious smile and hugging them to her chest. "I want all of them" she giggles and my heart melts, thinking about how fun it would be if I had a daughter just like her.
"Pick one Juni" Jungkook chuckles and she pulls back flipping through the selection I've made before her eyes light up and find the one she's dying to wear. "This one, this one!" she says, lightly holding onto the skirt and jumping up and down. I shift my grasp on them and hold out the one she chose for Jungkook to take and once he does there a static jolt of electricity that shocks us leaving the both of us pulling away slightly.
"Sorry it's probably from all the fabric of the dresses" I explain and he smiles in response. "Don't worry about it. A little spark never hurt anyone" he says and it's almost as if his voice had dropped a bit with that remark, leaving me widening my eyes a bit before turning back around and placing the dresses back in the closet. 
Why does he make me so nervous?
"Lady, lady look!" I hear from behind, and watch as Juni turns this way and that once Jungkook has finished putting the dress on her. "My goodness Juni don't you look adorable!" I say and she runs up to the the mirror in the corner of the room, watching the skirt swish this way and that. "Say thank you Ms y/n" Jungkook says, correcting Juni and finally telling her my name. She sounded too cute calling me 'the pretty lady' I just didn't have the heart to tell her otherwise.
"Thank you Ms y/n!" she says, running up to me and wrapping her arms around my legs since she is still  too small to reach anywhere else. "You're welcome Juni" I say, smiling down at her and smoothing her hair down. "Remember Juni, we're just borrowing it so we can wash your dress. We have to give it back to Ms. y/n before we leave" Jungkook says and I can see her excitement dwindle a bit but is no less thankful for being able to wear it tonight.
"Thank you for letting me borrow it Ms. y/n!" she says and I smile again, falling more and more in love with this adorable little girl with every smile she graces me with. "You're welcome" I say and she lets go of me and twirls around in it before stopping.
"Oh! I promise to be really careful and keep this one clean" she says holding out her pinky to do just as she had done with her father moments ago and I kneel down to her level and do just that before booping her on the nose causing another fit of giggles to spill out of her.
"Y/n, dinner is ready" my mother says while poking her head around the corner and I can tell she is completely satisfied by the scene that she's walked in on. "Oh Juni what a beautiful dress!" my mother says, noticing it right away, remembering it was one of my favorites. "Ms y/n gave it to me!" she says, swishing around in it again before doing a full twirl for us.
"Well aren't you the most darling little girl I've ever seen! Are you ready to eat? I heard that mashed potatoes are one of your favorite foods right?" my mom says, holding out her hand for Juni to take and she gladly does.
"Did my grandma tell you that?" she asks, clearly surprised that this complete stranger already knew something about her. "Yes she did. I hope you like them!" my mom says and Juni rushes down the hallway dragging my mom behind her. "Juni be careful!" Jungkook calls out to her but my mom just laughs it off.
"Why don't you show Jungkook where the laundry room is so you can put her dress in the washer" my mom offers up and I nod my head and look up at him. "That's okay I can just wash it when we get home" he says, politely declining the offer. "It's alright, it's best to wash it right away so it doesn't stain" I say, holding out my hand for the dress and he smiles before handing it to me and following my lead.
"You have a lovely home" he says shyly, looking this way and that taking notice of the small details just as Juni did. 'Like father like daughter' I think to myself. "It was my childhood home as you could probably tell from my old room" I say and he hums in response as I stop at the door to the laundry room.
"I know Juni is never going to stop talking about it" he chuckles and I smile at the loving tone that is always present in his voice whenever he speaks about her. We stand there in silence for a bit while I gather the various cleaning products I'll need.
"If you like, I can show you how to get stains like this out? If there was ever a day when I was her age that I didn't get some sort of dirt, mud or grass stains on my clothes my mother would write that down as a national holiday" I say and he laughs at that before accepting the offer.
"Sure, I'd like that" for some reason I can't seem to find the right words so I simply turn around and rinse off the mud in the little sink we have in here. "Do you think you could get that one for me?" I ask, nodding toward one of the stain removers. He wordlessly does as I ask and helps apply a drop or two of it to each of the areas I point out.
"I could've done that" he says now realizing how he's just standing there watching me clean his daughter's dress. "No, that's okay I offered!" I say, reassuring him that I don't mind. I wordlessly ask for the next stain remover before rubbing it in and ringing out the excess water. He opens up the washer lid for me and I toss it in and look this way and that for the laundry detergent.
"Looking for this?" he asks, pulling it off the shelf above the washer. "See, that's a perk of living on my own now. I don't have to worry about things being up too high for me anymore" I chuckle and quickly scoop in the appropriate amount and start the washer.
"Well let me know if you ever need anyone to get something that's out of your reach, it's one of the perks of being tall" he jokes and I laugh but almost shy away from the fact that he expects to see me again. "So I've heard" I say and try to put the detergent back on my own but it soon tips back over and is close to crashing down until he catches it, which in turn ends with him trapping me between him and the washer.
He slides the detergent back in it's spot and takes half a step back, giving me the smallest bit of space. "Why didn't you let me help you? I was standing right here?" he asks, tilting his head at me. "I don't know, I guess I'm just used to doing things on my own now" I chuckle awkwardly. "Well hopefully you'll get used to letting me help you soon" he says, finally taking another step back and giving me a bit more space to breathe.
"Sorry about that" I apologize awkwardly, leaning my back against the washer now with him leaning up against the wall directly in front of me and giving me a crooked smile. "Don't apologize, there's nothing wrong with being independent" he says and quickly scans my body but he does it so fast that if I would've blinked I would've missed it.
"Daddy it's time for dinner" Juni says, her soft steps not having been heard by either of us over the sound of the washer, breaking us out of the little moment that we had been having. "Okay Juni we're coming" he chuckles and holds out his hand for her to take but she giggles and dodges it, reaching for mine instead.
I squeeze past Jungkook as this little room is only wide enough for one person to walk through and the front of our bodies brush up against each other only for a moment until she's tugged me halfway out the door. "Let's be a train Daddy! Grab onto Ms. y/n's hand so you can be the caboose!" she says, turning this trip down the hallway into a game.
"Oh that's okay sweetie why don't you-" he starts but I hold out my hand for him to take, him only having refused for my sake, not wanting to make me uncomfortable with any unwanted skinship. "Grab on Daddy!" Juni giggles and I look up at him and see that he's looking down at me. He chuckles before grabbing onto my hand and the both of us are soon trailing behind Juni as she drags us to the dining room.
Once we get to the dinner table Juni lets go of my hand and runs back to where Jungkook's mom is so she can continue to help her eat her mashed potatoes. 
When everyone notices that Jungkook and I have arrived, we're greeted with four sets of eyes, all of them extremely happy to see us. It's then when I realize that we were still holding hands so I gently slide mine out of his, almost wishing I didn't have to.
He looks down at where our hands had been connected when I do and I can almost see that he's also disappointed that I let go but his expression is quickly replaced by an awkward smile aimed at our parents. 
When I look at the table I see that Jungkook and I are meant to sit directly across from each other. Which I'm sure is another one of my mother's ploys to get us to keep glancing up at each other, this time though I don't really mind.
When I go to walk to one side to sit down next to Mr. Jeon, Jungkook follows right behind me. 
"Oh did you want to sit on this side?" I ask him and he shakes his head, "No, I just wanted to pull your chair out for you" he says and I feel butterflies in my stomach. "Oh, okay" I say quietly and watch as he does just that and slides the chair in behind me once I've sat down. "Thank you" I reply, smiling up at him and he does so in return before rounding the table to take a seat in his place.
"So y/n, your mother told us that you work in photography, is that right?" she asks and I take a drink of water before responding. "Well not really, I've done a few freelance jobs here and there. Enough to keep me afloat so to say but I hope to do it full time soon!" I say and I see Jungkook perk up at that.
"Jungkook has always loved photography as well! He's always been tinkering away with cameras since he was just a few years older than Juni" his mother says while Jungkook cleans off Juni's face as it seems like she's gotten more food on her face than in her mouth.
"What subject do you usually shoot?" I ask, curious to see where his interests lie. "Mostly editorial, but I tend to enjoy the shoots a lot more when they have to do with nature. I believe beauty can be found in almost anything so I tend to just capture whatever inspires me at the moment" he says, his answer being very similar to mine.
"I feel the same way" I respond simply before shying away from the topic as I feel our parents are studying our interaction.
Once they notice the silence they decide to pick up the conversation just throwing facts about Jungkook and I back and forth, pretty much doing the getting to know you game for us without giving us much room to get a word in edgewise. Which leaves the both of us to just follow the conversation and occasionally making eye contact when either side makes a slightly embarrassing comment.
"Hey Dad" Jungkook calls out to his father over the never ending conversation they're having about us. "How's that new project at work going?" he says and I can already tell that it's one of those kinds of topics that once you get him started on it he won't stop and that's just the case as we now watch the conversation take a turn that is thankfully so far off from the two of us.
As time ticks by and the subjects change a few more times I notice that Jungkook has started to get up and clear the table to which I jump up in response to help him.
"Oh Jungkook don't worry about that I can do it later" my mother says but he shakes his head. "It's the least I could do after you've provided this wonderful dinner for my family and I" he says and I can almost see my mother swooning from his response. "Well thank you very much, sweetie can you show him where to place them, just next to the sink is fine" she says to me and I nod, looking up at him and nodding my head towards the direction of the kitchen.
Once we've gone there and back from the table a few times I decide to just start loading up the dishwasher, trying to escape that mortifying conversation for as long as I can. "I brought your glass for you. Wasn't sure if you were planning to finish it or not" he says, walking over and placing my wine glass on the counter next to me. "Thanks" I say quietly, neither of us having said a word to each other since the very beginning of that dinner.
"Your parents are really sweet" he says, breaking the ice and clearly acknowledging how obvious they all were about their motives. "Yours too. I'm sorry about tonight" I say and his brows furrow, clearly not understanding why I would need to apologize. "I knew my mom would end up doing something like this but once her mind is made up there's no stopping her" I admit and he gives me a crooked smile in response.
"Don't worry, I knew what all of them were up to too. My mother was praising you so much and telling me how beautiful and smart and respectful you are so I had an inkling that this was their plan all along" he says and I turn away from him, trying to hide my flustered expression.
"She's right you know" he says, coming around to stand next to me, leaning against the counter while I face it, cleaning up the inside of the sink and grabbing the towel next to me to dry my hands.
"Right about what?" I question, now turning to face him and noticing just how close he's gotten. "About how beautiful you are" he says and I have to blink a few times, trying to figure out why this incredibly handsome man in my kitchen is flirting with me.
I just wanna thank past me because whatever I did in my last life must've been incredible if I'm being offered up a man as remarkable as he is.
"I-" I start but am soon interrupted by my mom walking in on us. "Y/n could you- oh! I'm sorry, as you were" she says, taking small backward steps out of the kitchen, keeping hers eyes on the two of us before turning around to walk back to the living room that they had moved to.
"I'm sorry about her" I say, taking a drink of my wine but he laughs it off. "It's alright, I don't mind" he says watching me with curious eyes as I polish off the rest of it. "Juni has taken a real liking to you" he says and my heart melts at the sound of her name.
"Really? She's probably the happiest child I've ever seen. I really like her too" I say and he smiles, no doubts memories over the years flashing through his head.
"You've done a really good job raising her Jungkook" I say, and his eyes flutter back to mine, this time being the first time I've spoken his name and it looks as if just that alone brought him so much satisfaction. "Thank you y/n" he says, and I feel my heart flutter, the deep baritone of his voice sending a shiver down my spine.
"Daddy can I have some cake?" we hear as Juni walks into the kitchen, "Can I have some cake..." Jungkook says, trailing off and waiting for those magic words. "Please?" she says, realizing what he had been getting at.
"Sure baby, Ms. y/n and I will bring it out in a second okay?" he says making her smile as she runs out of the kitchen "Thank you" she calls out over her shoulder leaving the two of us laughing at her enthusiasm.
"That's probably what my mom was coming in to ask us for" I say and he nods in agreement, helping me carry everything out so we can all have a slice of the small cake my mom had gotten for tonight. "How much you want to bet that they sent Juni looking for us earlier too?" he whispers to me as we make our way over to where everyone else has gathered. "You might be right about that one" I whisper back, quickly catching onto all of their little games.
After setting the cake and all of the plates and forks down on the coffee table my mom takes on the task of cutting it up and serving it, with the very first piece going to little Miss Juni. "Thank you!" she says, eyes wide as saucers leaving all of us cooing at her. "Eat slow Juni" Jungkook reminds her, no doubt having troubles with her eating her desserts too quickly.
I take on the task of helping my mother hand out the slices and once I give one to Jungkook I finally notice that the only empty seat is right next to him and he looks down at it before looking back up at me in a silent invitation to sit down and I take it cautiously.
The couch that we're sitting on is kind of a love seat ironically, seeing as the whole theme of tonight is trying to set us up with each other.
Once I've sat down I realize that I've sat right next to him to the point of where my shoulder ended up bumping into his. "Oh! I'm sorry" I say, scooting away from him but with the size of the couch I don't really end up moving all that much. "It's okay I don't mind" he says, before taking a bite of his cake and turning to face the rest of the group.
The seven of us continue talking and talking until we notice that Juni has fallen asleep in her grandma's lap. "Here mom let me take her" Jungkook says, standing up but both my mom and his stand up and wave him off. "That's okay, we're just gonna go put her down in y/n's room" my mom says and before he's able to say otherwise they've disappeared down the hallway.
"Does she have school tomorrow?" I ask once he's settled back down. "No, she's on spring break right now until next Monday" he relays and I nod my head. "And what about you? Do you work tomorrow?" I ask and he gives me a shy smile before responding. "I had a shoot scheduled in the morning but we went ahead and pushed it to the afternoon so I don't have to worry about going home anytime soon" he says and my heart skips a beat.
"No, I mean, well I don't want to keep you for too long. You probably have other things you'd like to get done tonight?" I ask and he shakes his head. "No, this is the only thing I have planned for the night so I guess you're stuck with me" he chuckles. "I didn't mean to make you feel like I wanted you to leave I just-"
"It's okay I know what you meant" he laughs and I now take notice that we're the only ones left in the room. "Oh! Where did my dad go?" I ask, my eyes darting this way and that, not even being able to hear his voice.
"I think I heard something about them setting up the fire pit? I'm not sure but he's outside with my dad right now" he says and I spy both of them looking through the glass door before quickly ducking out of view once they realize they've been spotted.
"Maybe we should head out there" I say but he cuts off that thought by asking me a question that keeps me frozen on the spot. 
"Is there a reason why you don't want to be alone with me?" he asks, arm now having been draped around the back of the couch a while ago, completely unknown to me making this all seem a lot more intimate than before.
"Who said that?" I chuckle nervously, clearing my throat before sinking back into my seat. "You just did" he says, nodding towards me and I feel like I want to crawl in a hole and die. I thought I could escape this night without being awkward like this but I guess not.
"You trying to get rid of me?" he teases and I shake my head right away, "No I'm sorry I just-" "It's okay, I'm only joking" he says and I laugh nervously. "So why don't you tell me about yourself?" he says, giving me the most open ended question ever and I scramble to find something but I just can't seem to come up with anything interesting enough to mention.
"Well, my parents pretty much said everything there is to know about me over dinner earlier" I say and he shakes his head. "I want to hear something about you from you. Like what are some of your hope, your dreams, something you're passionate about" he says, being a little more specific this time.
"My dreams?" I trail off, thinking for a second and he watches me as I wrack my brain for something notable. "It's kind of silly" I admit once I've settled on something. "Good thing I've got a sense of humor" he replies, trying to encourage me to continue. 
"Well, I've always wanted one of my photos to be on the cover of TIME magazine" I admit and see his eyes light up. "I have a similar dream" he says and my eyes widen in surprise turning my body to face him, wordlessly asking him to share his too. 
"I'd like one of mine to end up on the cover of National Geographic" he relays and I smile in turn. "That would be perfect for you! Well, since the subject you love to capture the most is nature I could definitely see your work fitting right in!" I say, excited to see someone else who's trying to aim as high as I am.
"And I could see yours being a shoe in for TIME as well" he says, and I shy away from his praise. "Okay and what's something you're passionate about, and don't say photography" he says, interrupting me causing me to slump down, having to take another second to come up with an answer. 
He chuckles a bit at my reaction and I glare at him causing him to smile at me even more so look up to the celling as if it had the answers to something interesting about me. 
"Well, I really love reading. I know it might not seem like a passion but when I read a really good book and I find someone who has read it or will at least let me talk about it it's as if I gain a boost of energy and can't contain my excitement. That's definitely the nerdy side of me showing but that's all I can really think of at the moment" I say honestly and when I look back at him it's as if he thought I was the most fascinating thing he's ever seen. 
"Sorry, I think I got a little carried away there" I say, getting shy from being looked at like that, his soft gaze an expression I'm not used to, especially from someone I just met. "Um, your turn" I say, hoping to get some of the spotlight off of me. 
"I know this might be cheating but I do enjoy taking video and editing them. Even if it were as simple as filming Juni for an afternoon, it's something that if given the chance, would be something I could be extremely passionate about" he says and although it is cheating since it's somewhat similar to photography, I'll let it slide. 
"Have you thought about switching up your profession to include video as well as pictures?" I ask and he nods before answering. "I have but I haven't taken enough time to seriously consider it. Juni is still young and I want to make sure I have a stable income in order to take care of her and if I'm being honest I feel almost as if a career change could jeopardize that" he says and I watch him with the same intent that he had given me and he too seems to shy away from it. 
"It's silly since it would probably be a seamless transition but I can't help but feel reservations towards it" he says and I place my hand on top of his that's in his lap. 
"It's normal for a parent to worry about providing for their child. I don't think it's silly at all and it shows how much you truly care about Juni and her well being. She's lucky to have you as her father" I say and he cringes only for a moment before his expression goes back to a softer one. I want to ask what would've warranted a reaction like that but I leave it alone. 
"Okay your turn, what is something you hope for?" he asks and I already know the answer to it but I'm hesitant to say. I take a second to try and figure out how to formulate it properly but decide to just go for it. 
"I hope to be a mother and have children of my own someday. Doesn't matter if it's naturally or through adoption, I just hope to have someone I can love and care for unconditionally and watch them as they grow and change and pray I'll receive that love and care back from them" I say and he gives me a wary expression and I quickly try to backtrack, not knowing if I've messed up or not. 
"I'm sorry that was probably extremely insensitive of me" I say, pulling away my hand but he holds onto it and gives me a sad smile before responding. "I think you would be a wonderful mother. If you were to give your children even half the time and attention you've given to Juni today they would still be incredibly lucky to call you their mother" he says, reassuring me that it's okay to talk about these topics around him. 
"Last one?" I question, seeing if he's up to telling me something he's hopeful for. "I just hope that no matter what my family and friends stay happy and healthy. It might be simple but I enjoy the simple things in life" he says and I smile, seeing how truly kind and compassionate he is just from his simple answer. "That's a good answer" I say and we both chuckle a bit before we're broken out of yet again another moment by the sound of our mothers stumbling into the room. 
"Oh don't let us bother you we're just going to head outside with your father" Jungkook's mom says to him and I can see now from the warm glow shining through the glass door that they've finally started up the fire pit. 
"Oh we'll come outside too!" I say and try to get up off the loveseat. I'm able to stand but immediately lose my balance and feel a strong set of hands on my hips and end up falling into Jungkook's lap. "I-" I start, turning towards him and trying to get out an apology but stop short when I see how close his face is to mine, our noses almost touching. 
I hear our mothers head outside quickly and close the door but neither of us pay any mind, both focused on each other to the point where neither of us move for what feels like forever but was only a matter of seconds. When I do try to get up I feel his grip on me tighten. 
"I'm s-sorry, this couch is always difficult to get off of" I explain and he smiles. "Like I said before, you have nothing to apologize for" he says, his voice a bit deeper than before and it takes every fiber of my being to stop myself from looking at his lips but when I see his flutter down to mine I can't help but do the same. 
"Daddy, why is Ms. y/n sitting on your lap?" we hear Juni say and I immediately get off of him and throw my face in my hands, trying to hide the embarrassment written all over me but Jungkook handles it like a champ. 
"Ms. y/n just fell down Juni and I caught her. You know how I catch you sometimes before you fall?" he offers and she walks over to us, rubbing her eyes and immediately climbing onto Jungkook's lap. "Oh okay" she says, yawning again after Jungkook places a kiss on the crown of her head. 
"Do you wanna go see the fire that grandpa and Ms. y/n's dad made?" he asks and she hums in approval, still half asleep but wanting to go outside with everyone. "Okay let's go" he says, standing up with Juni in one arm and holding his hand out to help me up. I glare up at him and he smiles, knowing he's added to my embarrassment but I take his hand anyways and he makes no moves to let go once I'm up on my feet, walking us all towards the back door. 
Once we're outside though that's when he lets go so he can hold Juni properly while he walks down the patio steps so we can get to the fire pit. 
"Juni woke up?" his mother asks and Jungkook nods. "Yeah she wanted to come outside with everyone even though she is still very very sleepy" he says, talking in a silly sweet voice that makes Juni pout although her eyes are still closed. "I'm not sleepy" she says mid yawn causing me to coo at her and when she realizes I'm still close by she sits up off of Jungkook's chest and reaches towards me. 
I look between her and Jungkook for a second and he nods his head in approval and hands her to me, grabbing a chair afterwards for me to sit on and pulling up another one next to mine and looks over at Juni to see she's practically sound asleep again. "Are you okay with her?" he asks and I hum in approval leaving him placing another kiss on Juni's head before leaning back in his chair. 
"So Jungkook, what do you think of my daughter?" my mother asks and Jungkook chokes on air, not expecting the straightforward question. "Mom!" I scold and she chuckles, "What? It's a simple question. No need to give a complex answer, unless he wants to" she teases and I swear I can even hear Jungkook's dad chuckling at my mother's antics. 
They couldn't make it more obvious that they're trying to set us up even if they tried. 
My dad luckily somewhat comes to Jungkook's aide and hands him a bottle of water to hopefully help him stop coughing which it does thankfully.
He takes a second to clear his throat and I would be lying if I said I wasn't on edge, waiting to hear what his answer might be. "I think she is a very kind hearted and very intelligent young woman" he says simply and the echos of him calling me beautiful earlier on tonight attach to the end of that. 
"And would you like to see her again?" she continues and he then looks over at me, giving me a soft smile and glancing down at Juni before looking me in the eyes again. "We've already planned to see each other again" he says, memories of Juni's invitation to the butterfly shopping trip fluttering through my mind again. 
"Did you hear that? Jungkook has already asked to see her again" my mom says, calling over to Jungkook's mom as if she hadn't been listening the whole time. "Well technically Juni asked if I could go shopping with them" I explain and Jungkook chuckles. "Juni is a very smart girl" my mother compliments and Jungkook and I can't help but laugh. 
The rest of the night flies by and before I know it we're already standing in the doorway saying goodbye. "It's was so nice seeing you again y/n! I hope to be seeing you again soon" Jungkook mom says, winking at me. "Oh come on honey leave the girl alone" Jungkook's dad says, coming to my aide and saying his goodbyes as well. 
Jungkook's parents say a quick goodbye to Jungkook and Juni as well since they came in separate cars and I notice after that my dad pulls Jungkook aside and says something that I regretfully can't make out. Luckily he doesn't seem bothered by it as they smile and shake hands before my dad pats him on the back, sending him off with I can only assume is well wishes. 
Jungkook says goodbye to my mother and I can tell how much she's praising him, he thanks her for everything and makes his way over to me a few moments later and it's almost as if it was a ghost town with only Jungkook and I in the entryway now, with him holding a still very sleepy Juni in his arms. 
"Thank you for coming, I know this was probably a lot for you" I say, rocking back and forth on my heels and he smiles before answering. "I had fun, and I know Juni did too" he says and I can feel my heart skip a beat, "I did too" I reply shyly. He reaches into his pocket and unlocks his phone before handing it to me.
"Do you think I could have your number? You know, so we can set up that shopping day soon? I know Juni won't be able to stop talking about it until we go" he says, turning into what I could only describe as a shy teenage boy, asking his crush for her number. "Sure" I say, putting it in and calling my number so I have his too. 
"Let me know when you get home safe" I say and place my hand on Juni's back and whisper a quick goodbye which regrettably stirs her awake and I mouth a quite sorry to Jungkook but he smiles in response. 
"Wanna say goodbye to Ms. y/n?" Jungkook asks and she nods her head before opening her eyes and leaning towards me to give me a kiss on the cheek leaving me speechless. "Goodnight pretty lady" she mumbles before laying back down on Jungkook's chest. He chuckles after seeing my reaction and gives Juni a kiss on her head in response. 
"Goodnight y/n" he whispers to me and I send him the same sentiment, walking him to the door and watching as he walks over to his car while he puts Juni in her carseat. He looks back to see if I'm still watching and smiles at me again before getting in his car and driving off. 
"So should I schedule an appointment with the caterers tomorrow or...?" I hear my mother say behind me, making me jump before taking a few steps back into the house and closing the door. "Very funny mom" I say, walking over to the living room and plopping down on the couch Jungkook and I had been sharing a couple hours ago. 
"What's wrong? He's a nice man isn't he? Plus his daughter seems like she loves you! Why don't you give it a shot?" she asks and I sigh, sinking further back into the couch. "I don't know, I just don't want to get my hopes up" I mumble and she sits next to me, placing a comforting hand on my thigh. "What makes you say that?" she asks curiously.
"It's almost as if he's too perfect. He's handsome, charming, charismatic, a great dad and I don't know, he just seems too good to be true" I admit and she nods her head, understanding my hesitation. "Everyone puts their best foot forward when they're meeting someone for the first time. Just go out with him and Juni in a few days and keep an open mind. It's not the fact that he has Juni that's holding you back right?" she questions, trying to figure out what exactly has got me doubting. 
"No not at all! If anything Juni is an added bonus" I say truthfully and she smiles at me. "Good, because I think she's already become very attached to you" she says and I nod my head. "Yeah I think I have too" I mumble and she claps her hands, jolting me out of my train of thought. 
"Now all we have to do is get a ring attached to that finger and the three of you can live happily ever after" she says, getting up to clean up the cake plates that sit on the coffee table in front of us. 
"Mom" I groan and she laughs, "I want some beautiful grandchildren and if that handsome young man can't help you give them to me then I don't know who could" she continues leaving me sighing, not bothering to argue back since she is definitely right about that one. 
I hear my phone chime in my purse moments later after I walk into my bedroom to gather up my things to go back home and see a message from an unknown number but check my call log and see that the numbers match up from when I called myself off Jungkook's phone. 
I quickly add him to my contacts before opening up our chat and see a short but sweet message from him. 
'Home safe and sound. Thanks for having us tonight. Hope to see you soon?' he sends with a question mark at the end, clearly still wanting to double check on if I'll actually want to see them again. I wait a few seconds, my thumbs hovering over the keyboard before finally composing a message and hitting send before I chicken out. 
'See you soon Jungkook. I really enjoyed getting to know you and Juni. Looking forward to shopping for butterflies together!' I say and cringe once I reread it. 'Ugh could I possibly sound more desperate?' I say to myself and toss my phone on the bed, sitting down at the computer chair across from it. 
A minute later I hear another message come in and I practically lunge for the phone, praying I didn't weird him out but moments later I feel heat rushing to my cheeks and have to will myself into not squealing.
'We're counting down the minutes until we can see you again. Let's talk tomorrow and set up a date and time'  he says and I rush to respond. 
'Sounds great! Goodnight Jungkook'  I say, ending the conversation before I end up embarrassing myself even more but before I can even lock my phone his message pops up. 
'Goodnight y/n, sweet dreams' the message is so simple but it still makes me smile. 
"Is that Jungkook texting you?" my mom asks, poking her head into the room and I quickly lock my phone and grab my purse. "Yes it is, goodnight mom" I say, walking past her and straight to the front door with her trailing after me. "Oh come on sweetie you know I'm just teasing you. I really think he's going to be a good match for you" she says and I turn to face her before I leave. 
"I really hope so. Say goodnight to dad for me" I say giving her a kiss on the cheek and getting in my car to drive home. 
~~~~
Once I walk in I'm greeted again by Salem and he walks up, waiting for me to pick him up. "You're such a little baby you know that?" I chuckle and he meows in response. 
I follow the same routine as I always do, carrying him with me into my room and rambling off to him about my day before hopping in the shower but this time I have a lot more to say, leaving me wasting half the hot water and causing me to have to finish up the last bit of my shower in a freezing cold stream. 
After finishing up and finally settling into bed I lay down and Salem curls up next to me. "Things might be changing around here boy. I only hope they're for the better, what do you think?" I ask after having told him everything and I'm met with the feeling of him purring and if that isn't a good sign then I don't know what is. 
"I hope he likes cats" I say, giving him one last pet before turning off the light and for the first time in a very long time I can finally say I've gone to sleep feeling content. The last thought that runs through my head is one that helps me fall asleep with a soft smile on my face. 
I can't wait to see him again...
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mayordea · 1 year ago
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Happy birthday to the number one princess in the world!! 💖
~from her biggest fans :)
ramble of my scattered thoughts on the piece under cut as usual cuz i love talking 😋
This has been an idea I've been cookin for a while, and it was so cluttered and unlike any other ensemble piece I've made... and I decided I oughta do it anyway. I love Miku, I love Vocaloid, and I wanted to do something really ambitious and crazy for her anniversary. Crazy that she's turning her "canon" age this year TwT
I had the idea floating around since like, May...? And then finally started acting on it around June 18. I'm terrible with deadlines, obvious with how I can never make a silly birthday post in time, so I started wayyyy ahead to make sure I have some room to be lazy lol, especially with an idea as ambitious as this.
This was finished on July 12! So I had to sit on this for an annoying amount of time. Very difficult for someone like me who just wants to talk about everything I'm working on to the masses. But at the very least, that gave me the time to work on the draft for this post.
~~~
Here's some ~behind the scenes~ scribbles leading up to the finished piece!
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Left is the chicken scratch plan i made in my handy dandy notebook (whenever things are getting real and ambitious, i always made a rough ROUGH plan in there. Usually I'd do a rough pass of the full thing, but this was too complicated for me to do traditionally. I majorly benefited from digital tools to make this possible). CyberDiva and CyberSongman were considered, but I ended up cutting them cuz I just didn't feel like drawing them sorry-- (just pretend they're off to the side. They gave Ruby and Clara the pizza lol). Right is the "final" completed sketch (before I decided to include Chika mid-way through coloring and VY1 and VY2 near the finish line). I started by drawing the main "groups" separated on a different canvas so I can plop them into the main canvas for easy rearranging and transforming. However I got lazy and ended up drawing everyone in the bottom right corner directly on the canvas since I liked seeing the big picture of everyone's positions. Y'know.
Almost excluded Chika! But I like her design so much that I just felt like including her last-minute. You win this time, Chika fans. VY1 and VY2 were very close to being cut! I added them when I began doing the banner and thought "eh why not". I figured their non-human designs would be pretty easy to include pushed back in the bg. Ik VY1 is more commonly associated with the fan design, but I referenced the hairpin cuz it was simpler and the fan looked very annoying to draw 😭
Sorry to the fans of many Vocaloids I had to cut because this composition was insane enough as is. I promise I wanted to include fellas like CUL, LUMi and Sachiko 😭 I will admit I was a little biased on who I wanted to include over others. Like, I don't normally care for Bruno and Clara, but I wanted to get some more international 'loids in the mix. Also wanted to stick in the realm of official designs and not fan-designs since, as much as I can appreciate those, are just a whole "wait who is that guy supposed to be" situation I didn't wanna deal with. I also did wanna include even more character references through the balloons, but they ended up being kind of ugly and overcomplicated the BG :,) (Oh, and while this was originally planned to be a Vocaloid-only piece, I did end up including Teto, Neru, and Haku 'cuz those are Miku's besties dude!!! They may not be Officially in the club but they're her girls and it would be criminal to not invite them to her birthday).
Anyway, this project marks the first time I've drawn a lot of Vocaloids. Lily, Piko, Rana, Yuki, Yukari, Miki, Maika, and many more lol. All of 'em I've heard or seen in passing, but now I actually drew them, and some have really cool and fun designs!! I got into a habit of drawing Merli after this since I just love her design for example. And I'll probably be drawing more lol!!
Oh and the last thing I'll add for now!! The cake is indeed made up of various song references!! I wanted to reference the "big four" producers, just absolute icons in Vocaloid history. The pink/black checkerboard is "World is Mine" (Ryo), the crescents on the side is "Rolling Girl" (Wowaka), the smiley faces is "Matryoshka" (Hachi), and the three hearts on the side is "The Vampire" (DECO*27, which is sort of a symbol of his whole Mannequin album tbh). I know "The Vampire" is a bit modern but I couldn't think of anything else off the top of my head. I'm a fake DECO fan I know 😔 "Matryoshka" was originally going to be referenced in the colors of the candles but believe me it looked like shit so I just went for something else last minute 😭
That's all I have to say!!! Hope you didn't mind the text wall if you made it here. I hope you like it as much as I do!!!! Happy freakin' birthday Miku!!!!
I have to deal with tagging all these characters now for my page,,, in the drafts my tags got cut off after a certain point so I think I'm massively breaching the tag limit 😭 um... I'll figure that out later...
not losing sleep that i can't tag everyone, even for page organization purposes because some characters have pretty generic names and some are a little hard to see in full yknow. If you're one of those people who tag every character in the art piece you reblog... I am very sorry.
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elliesluckycharm · 1 year ago
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don't text me, ex ellie williams one shot
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sinopse: you and ellie broke up due to her commitment issues and you've been non contact until she calls.
cw: lowercase intended, swearing and alcohol use and "drunk"? sex, semi public sex, not explicit if reader is fem or masc. use of nicknames like babe and my love.
wc: 2,9k
nsfw/smut: ellie bottoms. tit play (r receiving), clit stim and pinching (e receiving), fingering (e receiving), cum eating (r)... i think thats it?
a/n: okay uh im gonna kms bc this was meant for @breathinlove but alright.
you and ellie had broken up a few months ago. you have been no contact ever since, you blocked her everywhere except her number. you told her not to contact you if she didn't need anything.
but she'd called today.
you were in bed with your best friend kamala, she noticed you suddenly sitting up.
“what?” she touches your shoulder as you look at the screen. “ellie? don't pick up, y/n” she looks at the phone over your shoulder.
“i told her to only contact me if she needs anything…” you sigh, but the phone stops ringing and you bite your lip as you look at kamala, worried expression.
“hey, if she actually needs anything she'll either call again or text.” she pats your shoulder and you nod.
ellie doesn't call again, but you get a text.
«sorry about that, hope ur okay»
“um, i guess she didn't mean to call.” you roll your eyes after texting her back with a «don't worry, hope ur okay 2», which she saw and reacted with hearts.
“girl, yes she did, she let that thing ring for ages.” kamala scoffed.
“whatever kami, let's just forget about that. she's literally with cat.”
“it's insane that she broke up with you because she ‘couldn't be in a relationship’ and ‘felt trapped’ and now she's with cat.”
“i know but well, she just couldn't be in our relationship i guess.” you chuckle and hug kamala. “why are we still talking about this shit…?”
and then you drop this subject, and it was true… ellie broke up with you along those lines. she had met you at your house and held your hand, kissed your forehead before leaving. now, she has been going out with cat. you hadn't completely moved on but what's over it's over, you didn't want any messiness.
weeks pass by, you usually see ellie at college, you both curl your lips in an awkward smile. you do it out of respect but it hurts to act like you were never close.
today wasn't any different, film class and you're sat at the back. she got in late, she sat down at the front. you noticed her and followed her with your eyes but you didn't expect her to look around to the back of the class.
you lock eyes and she stares a little before turning back, you feel uneasy. class passed by and you don't interact in any way and you decide to talk to her after class.
she gets ready to leave and you run down the classes stairs to catch her.
“ellie.” you call out reaching for her shoulder but she turns around to face you before you can.
her green eyes pierce through yours, you hadn't seen those freckles from so close in months. you blink a few times in a roll.
“um… yeah? sorry i called.” her voice is raspy and she looks awkward, as if you don't know each other.
“you let the phone ring.” you mumble, her eyebrows almost touch as she looks confused.
“yes? i'm sorry.” she takes a step back as you do the same.
“so you meant to call. it wasn't a mistake?” you ask, you sound calmer.
“yeah, i did… but i know i shouldn't have, you did the right thing by not picking up.” she looks at your lips for a second before you curl them up in a sympathetic smile.
“i was going to. thought you might have needed something.” you hold your own shoulder. “you okay?”
“no, yeah… i'm okay i was just… i don't know.” she rambles awkwardly and you chuckle. “are… you okay?”
it felt weird talking to her, but she was still the same. she toyed with her fingers nervously as she always did.
“yeah, i am.” you breathed out before straightening your back. “what did you wanna say?”
“that, i've… been” she chokes on her words, you examine ber face, letting her speak. “thinking ‘bout you.” now it's your turn to internally choke.
“you don't need to tell me that.” you bite your lip as you start walking down the starts and she does the same as everyone's leaving the classroom.
she lowers her head to face her feet as she thinks of what to say but all she says is “i know.” you turn to face her after you leave the classroom.
“i'll see you” you say, she nods and leaves as you walk towards the bathroom.
your eyes water as soon as you enter the bathroom, you let out the breath you had been involuntarily holding. you decided this meant no contact was as rough as her as on you, even worse since she decided to call you at 3pm on a random saturday. but it didn't mean anything other than that, it's hard not to talk to someone you used to talk all the time and you understood that.
when you're walking to your next class you see cat running towards ellie and jesse. she kisses both of their cheeks and you wave to them, mostly jesse, who gives you a sympathetic look and waves back. cat doesn't see you until ellie raises her hand, cat waves at you then.
you and cat were neighbors during all your childhood, she was really nice, artistic, down to earth but still had a bubbly personality. you honestly liked her, which hurt.
kamala had texted you about this party next saturday at dina's, her cousin who ‘happened’ to be jesse's long term girlfriend and ellie's best friend. you, dina and kamala had been friends since the start of college and your breakup with ellie wouldn't change that.
ellie would obviously be there, so you decided to give it more than one thought. you didn't want to see her if it made you feel so small, but you couldn't stop doing what you usually do just to avoid her.
so you decided to go. you hadn't talked to dina that much about ellie to be honest, you didn't want this to become something where people had sides to take.
you and kamala go to the party a little later than supposed, the party was already crowded. you find dina and walk up to her to hug her.
“hey dina! nice party.” you hug her excitedly and she chuckles as she pats your back.
“it's a generic one, thanks though baby” she looks at you up and down as you back away. “you look good, girl.”
“you look hot, dee.” you smile wide and she gives you a gentle push towards her drink table. “go grab a drink, you too kamala!” she calls her cousin out.
kamala starts grabbing a drink but your eyes land on ellie, who was at the corner of the room. she saw you and stepped away from the wall she was leaning on.
“is ellie here with cat?” you ask dina as ellie walks up to you. dina nods no. “really?”
“yeah, they went out a few times but ellie said they were better off as friends…its been a while already” she shrugs.
“i see.” you tense up as ellie gets closer. “hey ellie.”
“what's up?” she smiles as she nodded at dina.
“nothing…” you shrug, your lower lip between your teeth and she clicks her tongue, staring you down.
“yeah umm, can we… maybe talk? i mean, i will text you?” she asks in a lower tone, you look around for nothing.
“sure, we can. what about?” dina had leave your side, and you were left alone with her and some strangers next to the wall.
“me. i miss you.” she breathes out and you squint your eyes. “i do. can we please talk?”
“didn't you feel trapped with me? in our relationship?” you scratch your forearm. she takes your hand off it and you look up at her.
“no, i felt trapped but it wasn't you who trapped me. you never limited me. i just wanted to get out a bit, try new things maybe.” you scoff and snap your hand from hers.
“you needed a break from me? to try out new things? like what…? cat?” you sound annoyed by all this now and she's quick to argue.
“no…no, y/n. i thought i did but… i still miss you alright? and cat… i thought could move on to something but i didn't”
“ellie, i'm sorry but… you can still move on. i'm… sorry it didn't work out with cat? but that has nothing to do with me.” you try to call down as she gulps and looks to the side.
“i'm sorry.” she mutters, she sounds embarrassed but she nods. “you're right. i can move on, i don't want to.”
“ellie, this is not the place for this but… yeah we can talk, i can text you.” you sigh and she nods.
“alright, text me when you can.” you nod and leave to find kamala.
you tell her about it and she says ellie is embarrassing herself and you can only say you feel bad but also annoyed by this behavior. you see ellie a few times during the party and you just smile at each other.
you definitely still love ellie, you do wish you had never broken up but it was her who did this and you didn't feel like you could get back together just like that. you'd let her say what she had to say, you respected her, but you didn't think this would end up in rekindling things.
you were dancing with kamala, a little drunk already, when you felt a little hot. you went into the kitchen to grab water. ellie was there, her hand on her forehead.
“hey…” she looks up, recognizing your shoes. she looked a little drunk herself, cheeks flushed. “are you okay?” she saw you stumble.
“yeah i'm fine actually, i have been drinking though, came for a water bottle.” you chuckle and she nods a little as she holds her own head. “who's driving you home?”
“ugh… actually… no one” she chuckles back and shoot her an worried look. “hey, don't worry i'll wait until i sober up a little, i know it was dumb but it's okay.”
“yeah… you better… drink some water maybe.” you walk up to her with another water bottle, she takes it and mumbles a ‘thank you’.
“i feel like the floor's kinda moving.” she looks up to you now.
“you're just light headed. and a lightweight.” you chuckle as you get closer to her.
“yeah right…” she laughs and looks at your lips as you get closer. “you smell nice.” she takes a huge sip out the water and grabs your hand pulling you closer, you let her.
“thank you, you look real good.” your drunken self speaks and she leans on your shoulder, you feel her breath against your neck, making your breath heavier.
“you've such pretty lips.” she mumbles as she lifts her head back up and her lips ghosts against yours. she holds you closer as you hold her arms.
your alcohol breaths fan eachother's lips and faces, you hands fall on her torso and she grabs your hips.
“i wanna kiss you.” you drop your face on the crook of her neck and you sigh. she puts her water bottle down on the marble you were both leaned against only to cup your face, making you face her again.
“you know i'll kiss you back.�� and you kiss her, liquor tasting kiss as your tongue pass through her lips.
she moans when you do, holding you so close your leg ends in the middle of hers. you're now running your hand up and down her torso and hip. her arms wrapped around you.
“needed this.” she groans and your grab her hair tightly.
“i need you.” you reply, kissing her deeply. she moans again, her hand finds your thigh and she lifts it.
“have me” she whispers in your ear. she's thrusting her hips as he holds your leg up by your thigh.
you make out feverishly, kisses your neck and you start panting and she grins against your neck. you felt your panties damp.
“bathroom?” you suggest as she starts shamelessly grinding her clothed pussy on your thigh. she nods frantically mumbling ‘please's as she lets go of your thigh and grabs your hand.
she pushes your body with her own, grabbing your waist to turn you around, her crotch against your ass as she walks you to the bathroom.
“don't trip, babe.” she jokes and kisses your neck.
“make sure you don't either, my love.” you giggle and now she's next to you. you look at eachother.
her cheeks are flushed pink and you smile at her, she opens the bathroom door and you get in. she kisses you now, grabbing your ass.
“i want you so bad, y/n. please.” she kisses your neck and you push her back. “what?”
“block the door.” you kiss her as her back hits the door, her hand is running up and down your back and around your hips. “missed you so fucking much.” you nibble her neck and she moans.
“i missed you, this. i need you right now” her hands go up your shirt and she sounds needy as fuck, grinding poorly on your hips. your hands find her stomach. “it's been too fucking long.”
you can feel your clit throb as she talks to you. you suck her earlobe and she grinds even more.
“so eager…” she pinches your nipple when you tease her, you whine out and she kisses you again.
“take this off, babe.” she says, tugging your shirt and you do what she tells you to. she goes in on your tits immediately. “yeah? you like that?” she asks as she nibbles the skin before sucking your nipple.
you moan and whimper holding her hair, she only stops when she feels your fingers tugging her belt.
“let me touch you.” you ask, she quickly unlatches her belt and you unzip her pants.
“i can't do this anymore…” she tilts her head back and you give her what she wants, tugging her jeans down.
you cup her pussy over her boxers and she moans, head hitting your shoulder.
“wet and warm, huh?” you whisper and she starts kissing you again. groping your tits with one hand and the other on your back.
your fingers ghost her slit, but you start caressing her inner thigh and hips, opening her legs. she grunts and starts trying to grind her pussy on your hand, which makes you press her hips against the door.
“stay still, now, alright? i'll get to it… promise.” you mumble, enjoying her body and how eager she was.
she nods, now grabbing your ass and thighs. you kiss her cheek and tug her panties to the side
“good girl” she grunts when your fingers run over her sticky slit. she was soaked in her slick.
you tease her clit and entrance with your fingertips, she moans and tried to grind against you.
“fuck, be quick with it.” she grunts and you frown. “please.” you slide two fingers into her pussy when she pleads. she gasps and grips your hair, taking your lips in a sloppy kiss.
she grinds her clit against your hand as you thrust your fingers in and out at the perfect pace she never stopped thinking about.
“more.” she moans between kisses.
“more what?” you start rubbing her clit with your other hand. “this?” she moans and nods.
“yeah… thanks.” you chuckle as she thanks you, kissing her neck again.
you look up at her eyes closed and cheeks flushed pink, her hands moving from your back to your shoulders. you speed up as you look at her.
you get the vision you wanted, her closed eyes squint, broken pants leave her open lips… you moan at the sight and the feeling of her wet pussy clenching around your fingers and her legs shaking, threatening to close around your hand.
“oh… you feel so good ellie, fuck.” you pinch her clit and she moans louder “yeah, keep those legs open for me.”
she cries out as she nods, her pussy clenching hard when you moan seeing her cry.
“please i'm so close.” she grunts through gritted teeth. “don't stop.”
“relax, you're so tight…” her stomach tenses and she relaxes and you reach deeper. “god…” you moan.
she moans non stop and her legs shake even more as she cums all over your fingers. you fuck her slowly as she comes down from her orgasm, hand leaving her clit.
you're both panting and she holds you by your back as you take your fingers out of her pussy only to look down and see her creamy cum on your fingertips and around her entrance. your pussy throbs at the sight.
you weakly get on your knees, sucking her cum off your fingers to lick the cum on her pussy. she grips your shoulders.
“you're so good to me.” she mumbles as you get up, tugging her boxers and pants up.
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wileys-russo · 11 months ago
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the perfect tree II m.earps x reader
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another little mearps christmas fic based around this request here
the perfect tree II m.earps x reader
"-yes mum i'll be there on the wednesday." you sighed, shuddering as a shiver ran down your spine as a singular icy drop of water slipped down your neck from one of the branches above you.
"-yes dad i'll be there on the tuesday. because i still have a few things to wrap up here!" mary groaned, catching herself as her footing slipped on the icy ground, the small trip worsening her already stressed mood.
"can we talk about this later? i'm trying to pick a tree mum." you requested withholding the urge to snap at her millions of questions, still trying to survey the trees around you for the 'one'.
"i'm a little busy right now, no please don't put mum on! i'm trying to pick a christmas tree up and she'll talk for-oh hi mum." mary paused and punched the air pulling a face as her mum began to ramble on.
"-no mum i will not be bringing someone with me." you sighed, exhausted at the never ending poking and prodding about your dating life. "that is none of your business!" you scoffed as your mum started to question if you were 'putting yourself out there enough'.
"yes i can get the turkey. mum its weeks away can we not talk about it a little closer to?" mary asked, eyes drawn to a tree a few up in the aisle as they widened happily, ignoring her mums ranting about how you can never be too prepared for christmas.
"-no mum i do not want to be set up with anyone, especially not one of your work friends daughters. please just leave me and my love life to be my own!" you moaned, kicking at a rock with a roll of your eyes, though they lit up seeing the perfect tree a few feet away.
you and mary both hummed at your parents words, half paying attention as unknowingly you both made a beeline for the same tree, on opposite sides of it you didn't even see one another coming, a barrage of trees keeping your intentions hidden.
"its perfect!" "thats just the one."
you jumped hearing another voice, peering around the tree and letting out a small yelp of shock as a girl who couldn't have been much older than you did the same, the two of you jolting in surprise.
"sorry, this ones taken." you smiled politely, one hand firmly holding onto one of the branches. "yeah it is, sorry." the girl gave you a smile of her own, hand holding onto a different branch as both of your eyes narrowed.
"mum i'll call you later." "mum i've gotta go."
with that your eyes narrowed even further, slipping your phone into your coat pockets. "i think you'll find i saw this one first." your tone was sweet but your eyes warned the girl off of arguing with you, though that did very little to derail her.
"i think you'll find that i touched it first, universal rule." she also smiled sweetly but her eyebrows remained furrowed together as your eyes locked in a stand off.
the girl seemed vaguely familiar but you couldn't quite pinpoint where from, she was head and shoulders taller than you and bundled up in layer on layer just like you were with the sudden bitter cold snap settling in.
feeling yet another few drops of icy water slip down the back of your neck you were snapped out of this strange stand off and reminded of your age, so with a shake of your head you removed your hand.
"you're right, you saw it first. merry christmas!" you gave her a much more sincere smile, internally hitting yourself for causing a fuss with a stranger over something so silly this time of year, you had a hundred other things to worry about.
"hey wait!" you frowned as she let go of the tree and instead grabbed your wrist, dropping it right away and mumbling an apology, cheeks flushed bright red though you weren't sure if it was embarrassment or from the cold.
"you take it. i don't know what came over me so be so immature over a tree, stressful time of year." the girl smiled apologetically, shoving her hands in her coat and rocking back and forth on her heels.
"tell me about it. but no you take it, really! season of giving right?" you assured her, and marys stomach did a flip at the way you continued to smile at her, a strange feeling settling over her which she assumed was the cause of her next move.
"help me decorate it then?"
you gave her a perplexed look at her statement. "sorry?" you weren't sure if you'd even heard her correctly. "god that came out so much creepier than i intended. i'm mary!" she beamed, holding out a gloved hand which you shook, giving her your own name in return.
"i meant to say would you like to help me decorate it then? it really is a perfect tree and since you've been so kind as to give it up i think the least i can do is give you the opportunity to make sure its treated and decorated as it deserves." mary smiled warmly, raising an eyebrow in your direction, waving over one of the workers over your shoulder.
"mm its a nice tree that definitely deserves to be treated right, but my parents raised me not to go home with strangers." you spared her a teasing grin, a little enamored at her response but also cautious around the fact you didn't know this girl from any other random on the street.
"smart parents. theres a little cafe just around the corner from here, how about we get a hot chocolate and some lunch and become not strangers?" mary gave you a wolfish grin, thanking the worker who cut down the tree and started to drag it away to be wrapped.
"are you asking me on a date?" you asked with an amused smile, never being one to shy away from asking somewhat blunt questions if it meant you got an honest answer.
"you know what yeah, yeah i am."
~
it would appear the two of you had a lot more in common than you thought as conversation flowed so much so that you were asked to leave the cafe since they were closing, both of you blushing bright red not having realised the time or that you'd been sitting here now for almost four and a half hours together.
exchanging numbers you'd agreed to meet up the following day, agreeing you now were no longer strangers you took up marys offer of helping her decorate the tree, the girl having helped you pick out your own shortly after hers was wrapped and ready to go.
which is how you found yourself now here in her home surrounded by boxes of decorations and ornaments, still a little in disbelief you'd only met her yesterday and here you were.
but mary seemed to have a knack for making you feel at ease in her company. the tall girl constantly cracking jokes and sprinkling in the occasional smooth compliment or awful pick up line to continue your laughter, a sound which was fast becoming like a drug for her.
"-oh now this is cute!" you laughed as you carefully pulled out the ornament from one of the many boxes littered around marys living room.
the ornament in question was clearly something of sentiment, a little frame made of popsicle sticks, glitter glue and tufts of tinsel with a photo of a gap toothed smiley young girl inside which you could only guess was mary herself.
"oh look you found the angel!" mary grinned taking it from you and pretending to put it on top of the tree as you nudged her with your shoulder. "you used to be adorable, what happened?" you frowned as mary gasped and instead held the frame up right by her face.
"scuse you. look at this! from cute to hot." she winked making you roll your eyes playfully as mary hung it on the tree, the two of you chattering away as christmas music softly played in the background.
"you have so many beautiful sentimental ornaments mary." you smiled softly, pulling out a red bauble that read marys first christmas, the gold lettering quite faded though still legible.
"what you mean your parents christmas trees growing up weren't shrines dedicated to you? what a crime." the girl tutted with a shake of her head.
"to my younger siblings maybe. i like to think i was the tester child, everything that went wrong with me they learned from and made sure not to repeat!" you sighed with a small chuckle, moving behind to the back of the tree, always stubborn in the fact that the entire tree should be decorated no matter if easily seen or not.
"but no shrines no. i used to make ornaments in school, but my mums always been very picky about the colour scheme of our entire house so anything that wasn't store bought and the right shade of coral or rose gold never made the cut." you shrugged, having grown up with christmas's done differently than most of your friends.
"oh i'm sorry! i didn't realise-" marys cheeks flushed bright pink and she started quickly to ramble out an apology which you were even faster to wave off.
"you don't need to be sorry, please! she's gotten less strict with it as we all grew up, though she still insists on throwing a huge christmas eve party for all of her friends where everyone seems to parades their kids and their accomplishments or careers all round like show ponies, as if they had anything to do with them!" you laughed with a shake of your head, marys face softening.
both of you were far to invested in one another to even hear the knocks at the front door. "oh look! mistletoe." mary grinned pulling out a small wad of plastic green and red and wiggling her eyebrows.
"sorry i don't kiss pretty not quite strangers until at least the second or third date!" you teased. "so you admit i'm pretty then!" mary beamed wiggling her body happily making you laugh again.
"mm and humble too." you squeezed her bicep and moved to hang something but not quite able to reach the branch as you felt mary move behind you, stretching out to help you as your heart admittedly hammered a little faster at the close proximity.
"mary! are ya deaf or what?" the two of you leapt away from one another as two younger girls came barreling into the living room, the taller of the two stepping right into an empty box and crashing to the floor.
"alessia!" mary groaned, rushing over to help her as the girl beside her doubled over with laughter and mary pulled the blonde up to her feet mumbling about how she was a walking safety hazard.
"oh sorry we didn't realise you had company." the blonde noticed you over marys shoulder and raised an eyebrow, the girl beside her ceasing her laughter as you shifted awkwardly under their narrowed eyes.
"whose this then?" the other girl questioned mary with a nod in your direction as if you weren't there. "what are you two doing here? what have i said about using my spare key to let yourselves in!" mary scolded, smacking the shorter of the two on the shoulder who whined and rubbed it with a scowl.
"we were going to watch the holiday and go look at lights, remember?" the blonde prompted as mary winced, having completely forgotten about the plans she'd made with her friends a few days ago, her mind lately being completely occupied by you.
"hey you don't need to go! you could stay?" mary noticed you grab your coat and spun around, staring at you hopefully as the two girls behind her continued to look you up and down as you shook your head.
"it's okay you have plans. i should get going anyway i've got a few things to do." you smiled sincerely, mary offering to walk you out and ignoring the unsubtle hushed questioning of who you were from the two girls who she ordered to sit down and wait for her.
"i'm really sorry about all this, i completely forgot about them coming over and-" "mary stop saying sorry, you apologize far too much for things you don't need to." you smiled with amusement, pulling your beanie on and stepping out of her front door, mary lingering in the doorway.
"can i see you again? soon?" she asked quickly, shoving her hands in the pockets of her hoodie as you nodded. "i'd like that. you've got my number, feel free to use it!" and with another dazzling smile sent her way, you were gone.
returning inside mary felt like she was floating, no one having had this sort of effect on her since she was a teenager, the keeper almost feeling juvenile for her apparent growing crush on you.
"mary you have some serious explaining to do!"
~
one year later.
"you ready for this?" you asked with a smile, the girl beside you nodding and leaning to sweetly peck your lips before shutting off the engine.
"god its fucking freezing." your teeth chattered as you stepped out of the car and opened the boot, grabbing out the bag of presents which the tall blonde was quick to take from you, silencing your protests with another kiss as you fixed her scarf and sent her a smile which still made her stomach do a flip.
"lets do this then."
hand in hand you made your way carefully up the perfectly shoveled driveway, pointing out to the girl beside you all the decorations and recounting their origins often with a roll of your eyes as she hung off your every word.
"no knocking?" "no point, they won't hear." you chuckled as you let yourself in, the door unlocked anyway as you felt the girl beside you grip your hand a little tighter and you lead her further inside the house and closer to the voices in the living room.
"darling! you made it. oh gosh and this must finally be-"
"merry christmas mum. and yes this is mary, my girlfriend."
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kteezy997 · 9 months ago
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my best friend's sister//t.c.
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Warnings: smut, losing virginity, male receiving explicit oral sex, secret sex, unprotected sex, dirty talk
y/n had called Timothee, saying that there was an emergency and she needed him to come to her apartment right away. Naturally, he was quite worried. On the drive to her place, he hoped that she wasn't seriously hurt, as she was the younger sister of his best friend. He'd known her for years, even when she was still a teenager, and he cared for her deeply.
He arrived at her place just moments after the phone call, hurried to her apartment and knocked on the door.
"Hey, thank you so much for coming." she said upon opening the door and gesturing for him to come in.
She didn't seem to be hurt or even in any sort of panic, which did relieve him some.
"Are you okay? What's the emergency?" Timmy asked as he stepped into the apartment.
"Here, let's go to the living room to talk." she said, leading the way and sitting on the couch.
Timmy opted for a chair across from her, wondering why they were getting comfortable if there was something the matter. "So what's going on, y/n? You've got me worried over here."
Y/n had her hands on her lap, she sighed, "Okay, so there really is no emergency. But I did want to ask you something."
He frowned at her, "You wanted to ask me something? You couldn't just text me or tell me over the phone? You had me rush over here like you'd been stabbed." he shook his head slightly in disbelief.
She could sense the tiny bit of annoyance in his tone, and she genuinely felt bad. "I know, I'm sorry. I just didn't know of another way of getting you over here without Trent finding out.” She fiddled idly with her fingers, nervousness began to overwhelm her. "Okay, I'm just gonna say it: I want you to help me lose my virginity."
Timmy was stunned, didn't expect any part of that equation. She's a virgin? And she wants me to be the first? He couldn't believe it. Y/n had always been a cute, smart, and sweet girl. Surely, guys her age were nuts about her. And why on earth would she pick her brother's best friend to deflower her?
"I never would have guess that you hadn't had sex yet." was the first thought he said aloud.
"I know, and my friends won't stop giving me crap for it, they say I just need to do it, to just get it over with." she shrugged. "And I trust you, Timmy. I know that you care about me, and you’re really sweet and you’re protective of me, so I know that I'd feel safe."
She knew it was the nerves that were making her ramble, but she blushed as she thought of the next thing she would say to him, "I've kinda always had a little crush on you." she tucked a piece of her long hair behind her ear, "I want to do it with you."
"Me?” Timmy touched his chest, “Out of everyone you know, you picked your brother's best friend? Do you want Trent to kill me?"
She giggled, "No, of course not. The only way that he would ever find out would be if you told him. Because I'm not going to tell him. I wouldn’t tell anyone it was you. I'd just tell my friends it was some random guy." she waved her hand nonchalantly.
Timmy sighed, putting his chin in his hand, thinking the whole thing over and eventually saying, "I don't know, y/n. I like you, I do. I always did think you were cute, but don’t you think you're a little too young for me?”
"I'm twenty-two and you're twenty-eight, so you're really not that much older. We’re both adults here. Besides, I'm not asking you to marry me, or to even date me." She looked at him, then with a smirk she took her top off.
Timmy's eyes widened as he felt tension rise in his body. He cleared his throat, feeling hot as he took in the sight of her bareness in front of him.
"Look, I bought lingerie for the occasion." she announced, setting her shoulders back, showing her black, mesh bra off to him. Her nipples nearly popped out the top of the see through bra. "I think the bra is a little small, but do you like it?" she looked down at her bra, then up at Timmy who seemed to be at loss for words.
He swallowed hard, "Y-yes."
Y/n got up off the couch, kneeling down in front of him. She put her hands on his thighs, "May I kiss you?"
Timmy, hesitant to disrespect his friend, but so turned on by y/n, responded, "Do your worst."
She leaned forward, narrowing in on his lips with her eyes, she licked her own lips to moisten them.
Timmy felt a sense of excitement as he felt her lips meeting his. She kept her mouth closed and the kiss chaste for a moment, then her hand was on his jaw, and she parted her lips. He let his tongue slip in her mouth, and she opened wider for him. She moaned and they were fighting for dominance in the kiss.
He gave her a peck and lingered on her wet lips as he pulled away. As he looked at her after, he could see that her skin was flush, and her lips swollen.
She wasn't just Trent's little sister anymore. She was a beautiful, desirable woman before him. His eyes scanned down her face, her neck, down to her plump breasts, barely covered with the black mesh material. It was just then that he noticed mini embroidered black stars on her bra. The black material did little to conceal the color and hardness of her nipples.
"Can I... suck you off?" her eyes wandered down to the tent forming in his pants. "Please?"
Fuck, no girl had ever asked to suck my dick before. He nodded insistently, "Mm-hmm." he hummed his response.
Her fingers unzipped his jeans, and she pulled his boxers down to allow his cock to plop out. She giggled, "You're hard. And it's so big, Timmy." she carefully put her hand around the base, "Wow. So pretty." She kitten licked his thick, red tip before moaning softly as she took him in her mouth.
Timmy closed his eyes for a second, just trying to process what was happening. Was he really going to fuck Trent’s little sister? Damn, how was she so good at this?
He looked down at y/n, working her mouth on his cock like it was her job. Soft, sloppy sounds left her lips as she sucked him, bobbing her head like she really knew what she was doing. “Are you sure you’ve never done this before?” Timmy asked with a chuckle and his hand caressing her hair.
She let her lips pop off his cock, “I just watch a lot of porn.” she admitted with a grin. She licked her fingers, then let the saliva coat his length before she started to pump him with her hand.
Timmy relaxed, letting her jerk his cock.
She would gently squeeze his tip in her palm with each thrust, and she looked up at his face to watch him as he started to moan. “Am I doing a good job?” she asked, knowing the answer already.
“Yes, s’good.” he shuddered, biting his lip.
She smiled, then licked a strip on the underside of his cock. She kissed the tip, gently massaging his balls with her fingers as she put her lips around his cock once more. She suckled his cock, placing her hands on his lower stomach, letting them slide up under his shirt.
Timmy put his hands on her arms as she explored underneath his shirt. Somehow, she kept his dick in her mouth, still sucking. “You’re so amazing already, y/n.” he praised in a huffy breath.
“Mm.” she hummed around his cock, taking it in her hand as she took her mouth away, “So you’ll do it?!” she blurted. She bit her lip, waiting for his reply.
“Yes. Just pinky swear we won’t tell anybody.” Timmy declared, holding his pinky out to her.
Y/n grinned, and locked her pinky finger around his. “Do you wanna fuck me in my bed?” she asked, her brows raised.
“Fuck yeah.” he breathed out, letting her take him by the hand and lead the way.
Y/n took her pants off upon entering her bedroom, revealing the matching panties to her bra, the see through material leaving nothing to Timmy's imagination.
He wanted to ruin her. He wanted to take her innocence and own it. The best part was that no one outside the two of them would ever know a thing.
As if she read his mind, she said, "You can be as rough with me as you want to. I'll let you know if it's too much."
"Noted." he answered, shoving her on the bed.
Y/n gasped as her body hit the bed in a rush. She grinned, eager to take him.
Timmy out his hands on either side of her ass, then tucked his fingers into the sides of her panties to pull them down.
She wiggled her butt in anticipation. She felt his fingers between her folds, and she shuddered.
"So wet. You knew I would do this for you, didn't you? You've been planning this." he said, plainly.
Then, before she could even reply, she heard his jeans hit the floor. She inhaled a sharp breath as he grabbed her hips. He climbed onto the bed, she felt his weight on her legs as he straddled them, then the tip of his cock was at her hole. She exhaled as he pushed his length into her.
"Fuck." Timmy muttered under his breath, taking his cock out just to put it right back in again.
He bottomed out, and she yelped softly in pain.
"You good?" he asked, his hands resting on her lower back, "Want me to stop?"
"No! The pain will subside, I know it will. Just please, don't stop." y/n begged.
Timmy went on thrusting his cock into her unbelievably tight pussy, gently kneading her ass to relieve some tension within her body.
She whimpered and moaned, but soon, there were cries of pleasure.
He took her pleasant sounds as a sign to work his hips faster, and seep deeper into her. He felt as if his cock was in a vice grip, he groaned, shook his head, and held y/n down so he could fuck her hard.
It was all she could do to lay there and take him. She gripped the sheets and whined as his cock carved into her pussy. It was everything she had wished for when it came to her first time, and even more.
"Yes, I'm yours to destroy, Timothee!" she cried as he rocked into her roughly.
Timmy grabbed her hair, pulling her upward onto all fours, he leaned forward, putting his cheek to hers as she gasped in surprise. "You're all mine, that's right. No man gets to feel this perfect, tight pussy but me. And it's our secret." With that, he kissed her on the cheek.
@gatoenlaciudad @thebetawolfgirl @musicandbooksaremyhappyplace @softhecreator @tchalamss @bitchyunknownuser @lixzey @kpopgirlbtssvt @ducktapebar @aoi-targaryen
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d34dxr0ses · 2 years ago
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|| Everlasting Ink ||
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TattooArtist!Boyfriend!Xavier Thorpe x Fem!Reader -- Summary: You've always been Xavier's muse, inspiring and motivating his work, but right now he wants nothing more than for you to be his canvas for his most recent design. Warnings: MDNI/18+/Tattoo artist Xavier AU/Aged Up characters/Spice/Xavier giving reader a sternum tattoo/Kissing/Pet names (Angel;Babe;My love)/Pinch of Possessive!Xavier A/N: This is the first fic I'll be posting here, so I hope you guys like it! (Also this was written at 1am so apologies for any mistakes)^^
It had been 15 minutes since Xavier started looking at you, still cleaning and sterilizing his tattoo gun, and he has yet to look away. You were reading a book you had picked up from the library before you met up with your boyfriend in his art shed, that was hidden in the woods on Nevermore's campus. Though you were deeply invested in your book, you couldn't shake the feeling of his gaze, so you glanced up to meet his adoring eyes.
"What?" You laughed out, inspecting his face. He looked like a kid who was scared to ask his mom for some candy, but his eyes were much wider (lost in thought, clearly), and his cheeks slightly more red.
"I uh.." He cleared his throat and looked down at the cloth and tool in his hands, that he had been thoroughly wiping every inch for the past several minutes; before continuing "My love, and you can absolutely say no, but well- I finished a design that I've been working on, and I was hoping to tattoo it on you?" He placed his tattoo gun on the desk before quickly rummaging through all his papers before finding his sketch book.
You stood up from where you sat and approached his chair, wrapping your arms around his shoulders from behind as you stared at the drawing he flipped open too. You already knew you would probably have let him the moment he asked in such a sweet tone, but you were stunned by the piece. It was a fairly larger sternum tattoo, that would wrap around your chest and peak in between your boobs. The drawing had such intricate details, and little parts that made it appear that he had designed it just for you. Even the chest model he had drawn matched yours damn near perfectly.
"Xavier.. That's beautiful, I'd be honored to be you canvas." You said the last part in a fake, more proper sounding accent. His eyes lit up and his head snapped back so he was facing you. You could've swore that if he had a tail it would be wagging.
"Wait seriously? Like now? Can we do it now?" You could only imagine how long a piece like this would take, and it was already pretty late, but you had enough caffeinated drinks that you really didn't care, with the look he had stuck on his face you'd probably let him cover every inch of your body in his drawings, hiding your skin away in the ink.
--
That's where you sat now. Lying on your back, topless and staring at the drawing of your tattoo in his book. Your page. Sure, he had a lot of drawings of you, but this was different. It wasn't your face, your body, your hair. No, this was you. This was something that clearly showed that he took a great look into who you really were. Each line told its own story; then you noticed it, scattered throughout it was letters, unnoticeable unless you were specifically looking for it, letters that spelt out his name. A grin climbed onto your face, as closed the book, setting it on the desk closest to you. You looked down at the boy with long brown hair, who's bangs had now been tied back.
"Your name huh? Claiming me now?" Blood now rushed back to his face. It was a part of the design he had completely forgotten about. A part that he sketched out while thinking about you with his name stained onto your body, showing that you were truly his, and his alone.
"I forgot about that, babe I promise I wouldn't try to tattoo my name on you without perm-" but you cut him off. He was almost frantic, which was cute, but always led to him rambling on nervously for at least 10 minutes.
"I like it, its not like its in bold, neon ink, keep it. Please?" You added the please with a small whine for good measure, to make sure he wouldn't feel bad about it. He just nodded and started prepping you for the stencil.
This was your first tattoo, so you weren't exactly prepared for the cold liquid to be sprayed on your body, but when it was you couldn't help but flinch, which made your usually gentle boyfriend, push down slightly on your chest.
"Angel, I know you've never had this done, but for this I'm gonna need you to stay perfectly still once I get the gun out." His voice was stern and dry, a huge change in pace from the timid boy from a moment ago, but not an unwelcome one. You found it quite attractive the way he could switch back and forth like that. You just nodded, and went back to admiring him at work.
-
It had been several hours since he started the tattoo, it was decently painful, but at the same time felt really nice. You had finally adjusted to the way he was doing it, when he suddenly lifted the tool and stood up, readjusting himself. You thought he was just stretching after sitting uninterrupted for so long, but instead he moved onto the table where yo were, positioning his knees on either side of your hips, squeezing you gently to keep you in place. How flustered you were must've been clearly shown on your face because, still keeping the machine away from you, he leaned down and kissed you, you could feel his smirk in the kiss. He was loving this. You'd been watching him the entire time, not his work, but his face and body movement, and he knew it. He himself had a hard time keeping his eyes on his art. Your breasts were completely exposed to him, and he loved knowing that he was the only one allowed to see you like this.
He finally broke the kiss, giving you a moment to fix your breathing, and stop moving before returning to the tattoo.
-
It was nearing sunrise when the tattoo was done and yet you both still felt wide awake. He hadn't moved from his spot straddling your waist since he got there, ,but he did have to pin down your shoulder every so often when it tried to move on it's own. He was surprised that you didn't ask him to stop for a break at all. You were in a trance like state watching his every movement, but at the very least it kept you still. He brought his phone out and took a photo of "the tattoo" He told you, but you knew exactly why he was so precise with his angles.
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maxe-murderer · 1 year ago
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thoughts on the summoning choreo and the LiB's ages
aight so i watched the digital ticket last night and spent way too long analyzing the choreo for the summoning and a) want to ramble abt it cause its cool and b) wanna give my 2 cents for the Lords in Black ages theories (i don't think I've seen anyone mention this but im sure im not the first person to notice)
so the choreo for LiB do at the very beginning of the summoning is like a lot to take in all at once so i didn't take it in all at once and rewatched the same like 10 seconds over and over
so each of the LiB have their own little bit of choreo that's theirs, with Blinky and Nibbly's probably being the most obvious. But they all seem to do the same moves - with some little differences for a few of them - at completely different and seemingly random times. They do all start with "their" move. So breaking down each one, starting with:
Wiggly: The first move Wiggly does and the first one we see in the pro shot. Bent over at the hips, arms out to the side swinging in and out at the elbows. Reminiscent of his tentacles, yknow. One difference I can see with his choreo is he puts the majority of his weight on his right leg with the left out to the side and partially bent - he only does this the first time he does his move, and Tinky does similar but to a lesser extent.
Tinky: First thing he does, the bend down snap up repeat, arms back when down arms out in front when up. First time you see it in the pro shot is Nibbly doing it in the background behind Pokey (roughly 2:01:07). It doesn't make anything immediately jump to mind, other than like, goats fighting.
Nibbly: Since Nibbly has the lollypop prop it looks like licking the lollypop. For everyone else, it's just their right hand sorta sliding down in front of their face. The first time we see this is Wiggly doing it during the line "Wiggly wants his wrath".
Blinky: Bent at the hips, circle down and left to right and up. Blinky holds his hands in front of his to make that triangle/diamond over the one eye. Pokey holds his mask in front of his face for this, it looks like Wiggly does either the same hands as Blinky or basically the same but centered on his face, it's difficult to tell, Nibbly and Tinky just have their hands out in front of them.
Pokey: Swapping from facing right, right hand up in front of your face to facing left with the left hand up. Makes me think of Hamlet. Pokey looks at the mask while facing right and his hand when facing left. Everyone does the same with or without whatever prop they have. Tinky and Wiggly put their arms all the way up in a more of a presenting something type pose - Tinky's arms straight up and Wiggly's a bit bent. Nibbly does the move but faces forward instead of looking at his hands - he does this for every move, face is constantly directly toward the audience.
so I do wanna say first that while they do have all the same bits of choreography (just at different times) none of them do it exactly the same. There are small differences between all of them on the same moves (ex. Tinky: some people keep their head up when going down others have their face to the ground. Nibbly always keeping his face forward. Legs bent and feet flexed. Etc.)
Ok. So. The order that each of the LiB do each move is the same for all of them, but they each start at their own move and end on their own move.
The order goes: Wiggly, Tinky, Nibbly, Blinky, Pokey
Its a really fun way to keep the scene feeling cohesive but also super chaotic. It's pretty much impossible to notice a pattern if you aren't replaying the same part specifically looking for if there's a pattern.
As for their ages, I can't say that I actually have any strong opinions on the LiB's ages (I think any sort of hierarchy among each other they have is based on what I can best describe as their eldritch vibes) but this is fun to think about so like.
We all agree that Wiggly's the oldest so basically, the order Wiggly does the choreo as the ages of the LiB. And I think that when we look at it like this it has a sort of like, coming into being as the universe evolves to fill whatever cosmic need there is or smth like that. If you get what I'm getting at.
Wiggly's the oldest, he's clearly in charge and I think is also the most vague if we try to narrow down his "thing" if you know what i mean
Tinky would then be second oldest, I think it makes sense. He fucks with time itself, once you have a world you kind of need time for shit to happen in it
Nibbly next, middle child. He's hunger. As soon as you have life in the world that life will need to eat. And, he's the only one of the LiB who will consistently exist as a physical being outside of the Black and White (at least for a short while) and I think having the middle child be the one to have that sort of ability just sorta works
Blinky is the second youngest. His whole thing is sight. Not everything alive can see but a whole load of them can. Insert some sort of specific connection to the development of humanity. He's pretty satisfied with just having Watcher World seemingly. His brothers all have their domains and shticks already, so he'll just be happy in his corner torturing the shit out of whoever goes to Watcher World. No need to step on anyone's toes, y'know.
Pokey is the youngest and steps on everyone's toes. He both has a pretty nailed-down theme of control but is sorta, messy about it? his two main appearances have his existence in the physical world be directly connected to the meteor to the point of him getting kinda fucked over by it in Yellow Jacket. He's "The Singular Voice", he wants everything to be him, if it's not his voice he wants it dead. He's also the only one who we've seen get scolded by Wiggly. So like, the annoying and loud little brother.
anyway that's it. idk if you have any thoughts tell me. working boys budget breakdown soon to come
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alastxrs · 6 months ago
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𝐌𝐲 𝐃𝐚𝐫𝐥𝐢𝐧𝐠 𝐅𝐥𝐚𝐦𝐞
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Y/N uses He/Him pronouns.
He has no devil fruit powers.
Y/N is very strong though.
Same age as Ace.
❝𝐀𝐂𝐄!❞
Arms were wrapped around the Second Commander and a smile formed on his lips when he recognized the other man's voice, he turned around in the hug and wrapped his arms around the man.
"Y/N! I'm so happy to see you!"
The (H/C) haired man grinned and leaned down to gently kiss him on the cheek. "I'm happy you're back!" he spoke softly. "How was the mission?"
The raven-haired man was so happy his boyfriend asked and went on a ramble while the two of them made their way toward the kitchen to get something to eat, Y/N had figured his lover wanted something to eat.
Y/N was just listening to his boyfriend even while they grabbed food.
Ace's eyes sparkled with joy as he held Y/N close, relishing the warmth and comfort of his embrace. "Y/N, you have no idea how much I missed you," he said, his voice filled with genuine happiness. He felt a soft kiss on his cheek and couldn't help but grin even wider.
Ace continued to ramble on as they grabbed food, recounting every detail of the mission with animated gestures. "And you wouldn't believe the size of the waves we had to sail through! But Marco was incredible, as always. And then there was this huge battle..." His voice trailed off for a moment, a hint of sadness flickering in his eyes. "We lost some good people. But their sacrifice won’t be in vain. I promise that."
Y/N listened attentively, nodding and offering reassuring smiles as Ace spoke. He handed Ace a plate of food, knowing how much his boyfriend must be starving after such an ordeal. "I'm so proud of you, Ace," Y/N said softly, his eyes filled with admiration. "And I'm glad you're back safe. We’ll honor those we lost by living our best lives and fighting even harder. For now, let's eat and enjoy this moment together."
Ace nodded, his heart warmed by Y/N's words. "Yeah, you're right. Let's enjoy this. It's good to be home." He squeezed Y/N's hand, feeling more at peace than he had in a long time, grateful for the love and support that awaited him.
The Second Commander, the second they sat down to eat, quickly ate all of the food which didn't surprise any of the crew members.
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WARNING- Master kink, Ace calling Y/N Sir, Choking
Ever since Fire Fist Ace's return, the (H/C) haired man and he have been inseparable.
They stood by each other, not wanting to be separate from each other.
This is what happened every time one of the two went on missions.
They could barely keep themselves apart.
Y/N wanted his boyfriend's warmth since his body was hotter than his and Ace wanted to be with his lover to catch up on what he had been missing.
And if the two ran off to their room for private purposes, nobody spoke a word.
Ace leaned up, kissing him softly on the lips before breaking the kiss. "Well then, Sir, I think you should show me how much you miss me, huh?" He grinned happily, beginning to remove the other man's jacket.
This was their time to be alone and he was happy about it.
Y/N kissed back needly for the shorter man's touch as he bit the bottom of his lip when he saw his jacket get taken off- the (H/C) haired man automatically pinned him against the wall kissing him again then he worked off the other's shorts. " Oh, I'll show you." He mumbled against the other's lips.
The taller man leaned into the kiss but he began to kiss the raven-haired male's neck as he then pushed the smaller onto the bed and got on top of him, the (H/C) haired male missed him so much as he refused to let him go.
Ace's widened his eyes when he fell against the mattress. Chuckling softly as he sat up some.
Pulling Y/N back in so the fireman could keep kissing his jaw like a good little brat. His palms pressed up against his chest to feel out the new ridges his boyfriend had as he looked up at him.
" Fuck I've missed you…" Ace muttered as he began to kiss the other's neck leaving a lot of hickeys on him, the smaller male began to take off the tallerd close though he would never admit that he missed the clingy brat a lot but all he could think about was his boyfriend.
The ravenette rolled his hips up against him. "Baby.." he whispered out needily. His arms around his neck as he shuddered when he felt his body become bare. So he reached down and stroked himself up. His legs rubbed against each other. Making himself look desperate on purpose.
Y/N took off all of his clothes once Ace's underwear was removed, the (H/C) haired man kissed him on the lips then he began kissing his neck again licking the dark hickeys he made. He took the other's hand away and began stroking the man's cock.
Ace whined in protest when his hand was taken away, he pressed against Y/N's hand now. Taking a deep breath as he moaned and kissed him back. Then felt the lips on his neck. Before feeling a bit bratty he sat up and rubbed against his boyfriend. Attempting to flip them.
The taller man automatically stayed on top and pinned his boyfriend's hands above his head, he kept kissing him as he kept stroking the taller male refusing to let the other brat.
"Be a good boy or I won't let you cum." He growled when he moved to the other's ear.
The ravenette struggled against the pin, though he shuddered heading the growl and slowed down some. Whimpering some more, "Sir." He pleaded. Hooking his legs around his waist and pushing against his body. Wanting to touch and fight his Master some more.
" Only good boys get to touch their Master, are you a good boy?" Y/N said as he began to thrust into Ace without a warning as he made sure he thrusted fast and harder, he wanted to make it rough.
The Fire Fist gasped, not being able to get in a word when his boyfriend thrusted. He wiggled and moaned and whined under him. Not prepared penetration. "Y-Yes Sir." He begged softly. Wanting to feel his lover. Though he wanted to see if he could push the other man.
The taller man kissed the smaller on the lips and began thrusting in the other faster, the (H/C) haired male was going to make his boyfriend feel as if he liked seeing the look on the other's face while he was fucking him. "Such a pretty boy~ too bad you're a brat." He said in the smaller's ear nibbling on the hickeys he had created.
"You- you like it.." Ace managed to get out between moans. A hue of red covering his face being called pretty. His eyes rolled back some in pleasure as his legs began to shake. He then tried again, his hands against his chest as he tried to flip them over so he could be on top of his lover.
" Baby~ you aren't wrong but I love it when you are a good boy~," Y/N said as he didn't move when his pretty lover tried to flip them since he wasn't going to let his brat try and top him yet, the male then whispered in his ear. " be a good boy and you can top me next round~" he continued to thrust in the other knowing he liked it.
Ace wanted to ride him but Y/N was making it so difficult to flip.
He scoffed, gritting his teeth as he held back his moans. Not letting his lover hear him as tears brimmed his eyes from the sheer effort of holding back the pleasure. He suddenly and masterfully stopped Y/N's thrusting to be a brat. "Let me ride." He tried to bargain with his daddy.
The (H/C) haired man put a hand to the other man's throat as he glared at him, the male didn't want to let the other have any control over who was on top and he wanted to fuck the other long enough so only he knew his name. " Baby boy." He growled as he moved his one hand to his throat.
The dark-haired man took a deep breath when a hand was on his throat. Now that was exciting. He shifted under him, eyeing his boyfriend "Sir." He said back. Sass in his voice as he lifted his hands to cup his face. A challenge. He wanted Y/N to really force him into submission. Remind him who he belonged to. "Guess it's been a while since someone tried to control me."
The (H/C) haired man squeezes the other's neck as he didn't like that Ace was being a brat because he wanted to fuck him- the taller male grabbed the other's wrists with his other hand and pinned them above the other. "Baby boy." He growled. "I'm your Master, keep being a brat and I won't give you anything."
The shorter man panted, still trying to catch his breath but when his throat was squeezed he felt his face turn red with excitement. A playful grin on his face yet he whined gently when he was threatened to not get anything. Attempting to sit up against his hand to kiss his boyfriend's lips. "Sir~" he sang against his lips. Being a tease.
Y/N kept Ace down against the bed and he began to thrust in the smaller again but faster, he kept a tight grip on the other's throat but it was enough for him to breathe, the male kissed him but pulled away after that. " Brats don't get their Master's kisses."
The Second Commander tipped his head back, shaking and moaning underneath him as his partner started to thrust again. "F-fuck.." he managed to get out, drill dribbling from his lips as the other railed into him.
He seemed to whine even more when Y/N broke their kiss. "Well, then Master's brat doesn't w-want to behave." Ace thrived on those kisses. He tugged against Y/N's hands, trying to break free but once too much pleasure came he stopped complaining and fighting. Only able to moan and let his Master use his body like the good boy he could actually be.
Y/N grinned when he noticed his brat was behaving so he kissed the smaller male while he continued to rail him faster and rougher, and the smaller decided to let go of his hands and stroke the other's cock. He was thinking of overstimulating his baby boy.
Ace shut his eyes and kissed his back. Once his wrists were free, he didn't move them for a while then wrapped them around his neck to keep his Master close. His nail dug into Y/N's back and leaving fine lines on his skin. His back arches up into him. "Fuck.." he mumbled again, precum leaking from his tip as he tried to hold back his high. Shaking from head to toe and tears brimmed his eyes. The pleasure overwhelmed the poor boy.
" Such a good boy for his Master, arent you~ I'm going to fuck you so good baby boy~," The (H/C) haired male said against his lips as he didn't stop stroking or fucking the taller boy even though he was getting close to cumming, the taller male loved seeing the tears on his face as he looked down at him. " such a pretty slut I have, you're gonna be a good whore while I fuck you more?"
Ace whined, nodding his head to what his daddy said. Tears went down his face as he moaned into him. "Y-yes Sir.." he whispered out. His entire body shook and he could hardly focus on his Master completely. He held onto him, his nails digging into his shoulders.
The shorter male would let him fuck him round and round again. Currently, he was trying to not cum until his boyfriend gave him permission.
Y/N didn't mind the marks on his back because he liked any of them due to Ace being the one who made them on him, the (H/C) haired male soon cummed inside of the other but he didn't stop thrusting in him yet. " You can cum baby~," he said, it wasn't over yet since he wanted to mark every part of the others body.
Ace shuddered feeling the cum and his body still shook with each thrust. He soon released as well and cummed in his stomach. Panting as he stared at the beautiful man in front of him. His eyes glossed slightly as he watched his lover. "Sir..." he smiled, hugging him close. Kissing his forehead happily.
" Fuck- I've missed everything about you, Ace!" Y/N said as he kissed him on the cheek but kept the dark-haired male close to him.
"I was only gone for a couple of weeks-"
"Shut up, I missed you is the thing."
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cloudsmateria · 9 months ago
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leon kennedy x reader / college au
summary: you and your best friend leon had gone off to university, too busy to see each other for the longest time you'd both been away. you eventually find the time to meet up, getting drunk and acting on some building up feelings :3
warnings: start of a smut, alcohol, not proof read idk its kind of a shit ramble that i didn't put much cohesive effort into but it's quite cute so i posted it
anyway, i’ll probably do the smut in p2
words: 2.7k
It had been a month since you last saw Leon. Ever since you started law school, and he got into his cop training program both of your schedules had been stacked, despite you both still living in the same city the 45-minute commute to each other's homes was too much. As your best friend, you both managed to call each other every other night, confiding about whatever stupid experiences you both had in your new lives.
Tonight, you finally were able to agree on him coming to your apartment tonight, as you finally managed to get all work out of the way to have a fully free weekend off. You didn't realise how excited you were for his arrival until he texted you he was at the door. You sprinted through the halls and threw the door open.
"Leon!" You shout, jumping onto him and wrapping your arms around him.
"Y/n." He smiled, hugging you back.
“I haven’t seen you in way too long.” 
“We saw each other on Facetime last night.” You finally pull away with a smile. 
“You won’t even let me have a moment to be sweet.”
“It weirds me out, you're impossible to take seriously.” He rolls his eyes in response as he walks into your apartment, falling onto your couch, you sit next to him, kicking your legs up and leaning your head against his shoulder. “Did you wanna order takeout?”
“I wanted to go out. Haven’t left my apartment to explore the city since I joined the training academy. But we’ll just stay in here for a few minutes, catch me up, then we can go outside and do dumb shit.”
“Catch you up on what?” You laughed. “You’ve been my virtual therapist for the past month. Let’s talk about you. Show me what you learnt in your training or something, entertain me.”
“You’re right, you’ve talked too much, your voice gives me a headache.” You slap his chest and he lets out a light laugh, grabbing your wrists and pulling you over him to lay on his chest. “Get comfortable first, it’s long.”
“Doubt it.”
“You have it easy. This training is just as physically draining as it is mentally.”
“It shows. You’ve grown a lot since I last saw you.” You say, tracing your finger up his arm that has noticeably grown in size, and he’s already been going gym since he was 15.
He laughs. “You must've missed me bad, I’ve never seen you this nice.”
“What’s the training like?”
“I’m at the top of the class right now but the coaches are fucking evil, 4 people have already left.” He rambles on about the jarring people he’s met and the few friends that he’s made until the story is over and he gets up regretfully as he loses the weight of your body on top of him. You go into your room to change as you are still in pyjamas, getting into a skirt with a baggy sweater you wore a little too much.
“Is that my jumper?” Leon asked as you walked out. “Is it? I've had it for ages." He steps closer and snorts when he gets a closer look, flipping the back to see the label.
"You stole this from me last year."
"You mean I borrowed it indefinitely."
"I could arrest you."
"I'd like to see you try your best, trainee. It looks better on me anyway, finders keepers."
"What if I took it back off you?"
"You'd have to catch me first."
"I'm pretty fast."
"Not as fast as me." You grin before pushing him and sprinting out of your apartment, the sound of his footsteps trailing behind you.
"You think you can lose me?!" He taunted.
"I've done it before!" You shout back, running down the stairs of the apartment complex, and out into the streets, almost losing your breath from how much you were laughing. Suddenly, he sped up to an ungodly speed, picking you up when he caught up and throwing you over his shoulder. "Oh my god! What do they feed you in training?!" You yell, slapping his back.
"Mostly protein." He says, sarcastically.
"Are you gonna put me down or carry me around the city like a caveman?"
"I’ll drop you."
"Don't even joke about that." He laughs.
"Fine, fine, I won't." He puts you down and you both start walking around the city, looking for a corner store to get into.
"Let’s get wasted." You say, pointing to a small corner store.
"You’re so irresponsible." He said, going into the store and coming back out with soda and a bottle of vodka, he popped it open instantly when he came out, taking in a mouthful without wincing, passing it over to you straight after as you both walked down the street.
"I found this nice spot, it's 5 minutes from here."
"You didn't tell me about this when we were on Facetime."
"I was hoping to show you in person, I haven't told anyone else about it." You say, taking a mouthful of the burning liquid, coughing slightly, and passing it back over.
"Well, lead the way."
After a few minutes, you were standing on the roof of an abandoned, bordered car park with a pretty view of the river that ran through the city. You already had a wooden bench up there that you took as someone left it on the side of the road.
"How did you find this?" Leon asks.
"I just went on a walk one day and saw the entrance was bordered up and decided to explore, no-one ever comes up here." You said, leaning against the rails. "How much have we drank?"
"About a quarter of the bottle. Do you want more?" He asked.
"Yeah." He passes it over to you. "Do you remember the time we broke into that abandoned hospital near our high school?"
"And you freaked out when you thought that fake skeleton was real.."
"You're never gonna let that go are you?"
"We had to climb out of the window and I had to catch you before you fell to your death. Of course, I'm not going to let it go, you owe me."
"What do you want then? A drink?”
"I can pay for my own drinks and I just paid for yours." He said signalling to the bottle in your hand.
"You get to continue to enjoy my lovely company, that's all I owe you."
"Good enough." He sighed, taking a swig. The both of you sit around, both of you talking each other's ears off until he makes a suggestion.
"We should play a game."
"What's the game?"
"Truth or dare."
"Yes! I don't remember the last time we played this. Truth."
"Any crushes yet?"
"Honestly, not really. There are some cute guys in my uni but I'm just too busy with work. Truth or Dare."
"Dare."
"I dare you to finish the bottle."
"No problem." He said, finishing the bottle, and dropping it on the ground. You laughed at him, knowing he's going to be out of his mind later.
“You’ve been going to too many parties.” You say, watching in astonishment. “This is definitely some pretence for a future alcohol problem.”
“You’re gonna be the reason for my future alcoholism.”
“To be fair you are the type to become an alcoholic over a girl.”
“You’re that girl. You’re the most annoying thing in my life and I can’t get rid of you.” 
You hit his arm.
“You hit me too. Can’t get worse.” You roll your eyes with a smile.
“Seriously, you got anything going on with any girls?” You ask, feeling a bit of tension rise. He gives you a knowing grin. “Because I love gossip, don’t get any ideas.”
“Yeah, her name is Sienna. Funny girl, might ask her out soon.” You nod, questionably annoyed. “I’m joking. God. You look like you’ve seen a ghost, got something you wanna tell me?”
“The alcohol is just hitting.” You say. “Don’t get so full of yourself. You know I wouldn’t get with you if you were the last man on earth.”
“Yeah, right.” He smiles amusedly, a plan in mind. “Truth or dare, y/n?”
"Dare."
"Kiss me." Your heart stops.
"I'm not kissing you."
"You have to."
“Do I?”
“Never took you for a girl who’d pussy out on a dare.”
You sigh.
"You have some sick satisfaction out of tormenting me." You say, standing up and straddling his thighs. Fuck. You can feel the thick muscles of his shoulders as you rest your hands upon them. 
"You have no idea." You stare at him with a small frown.
"You're so lucky I'm drunk." You lean in slowly, feeling his fingers trace over your skin, sending goosebumps all over your body. You're just a few centimetres away from his lips, your lips parting, your heart thumping, his gaze dropping down to your lips. Suddenly, you hear him quietly laugh as you start to close your eyes.
"I'm not actually going to kiss you." He says.
"What?"
"You don't have to kiss me, it was a joke."
"Oh god." You sigh, faceplanting into his shoulder.
"You're so cute." He snorts, wrapping his arms around your waist.
"I think you’re the one who’s gonna make me an alcoholic." You mumble. 
“Come on, let’s go back to your apartment before you jump off the railings.” He says, letting you get off.
"You're evil." You say once you get to the ground.
"And you're so gullible. How is someone supposed to not take advantage of that?"
"Now you’re showing your true colours, you’re going to regret saying that." You say as menacing as you can, before tripping up from how tipsy you were, just for him to grab the back of your sweater to keep you upright.
"Keep threatening me, I love it."
“Freaky bastard.”
“You have no idea.” He says, grabbing your hand to speed you up for you to trip again, he laughs as you manage to catch yourself. “Do you need me to carry you?”
“No thanks.”
“Too bad because I want to get back in a timely manner.” He says, wrapping his arm around the back of your knees and carrying you off. You weren’t going to complain. 
“Are you not drunk?”
“I’m drunk. I just have more spatial awareness than you.” He carries you the quick 5 minutes to your house. Managing to walk all the way up the stairs with you still in his arms, his stamina was kind of hot, or maybe those were just drunk thoughts. 
He sets you down on your couch, getting you both a glass of water to put on your side table. 
"I didn’t say this but I took some judo classes." You say, just letting whatever dumb shit stumble out your mouth as you take a sip from the glass.
"Did you now?" He says sarcastically.
"We should spar."
"You never fail to surprise me with your stupid ideas." He says while watching you get up. "Are you that confident?"
"You're scared, that's why you're trying to chicken out." He pushes himself up off the couch.
“You’re going to hurt yourself.” He says, watching you hype yourself up, jumping up and down.
“Come on, let’s go.”
“Come at me then.” He said, fully intending to go easy on you. You quickly try to tackle him onto the floor, wrapping your leg around him to drop him, and to his shock he falls onto his back, leaving him groaning and rubbing his back. “I didn’t think you were being serious.”
“Fuck yeah! Told you you’d regret it!” You shout, jumping up, he grabs your leg and pulls it down making you fall over him, rolling over so that you were pinned down by your wrists.
“How cute, Leon.” You smile, tucking feet underneath him onto his chest and launching off you and getting up. You usually weren’t this successful given you’d only gone to 2 classes, the drunkenness definitely provided you some much-needed confidence. He laughs breathlessly from the rollercoaster you just put him through, resting on his wrists for a second before standing up with you. 
“You wanted me to show you what I learnt in training right?” He says, as you rub your hands together mischievously. You run toward him, him holding both of your hands when you try to push him, pushing against each other as he swipes both your feet from under you and pins you to the floor, his shins pressing on your thighs to make sure you don’t pull the same trick again. Both of you are still breathing heavily from the high of the last round. 
 "You should give up now." He whispers, lacing his fingers in between your own.
"You should know better." You whisper back, smiling. His eyes drop down to your lips, his head fogged as the alcohol in his system starts to kick in more.
"What if I don't?" He leans in, brushing his lips over yours, your stomach fluttering, you were so glad you were drunk. You never would've come up with this idea if you were sober.
"What are you doing, Leon?" 
"Beating you up.”
"You're drunk."
"So are you." He replies, connecting your lips. The kiss is slow and soft. Not how you expected a drunk make-out to be. His lips part and your tongue meet his, the both of you letting out quiet sounds as the kiss gets more heated, his body weight shifting down. His arms wrap around your waist, under your jumper as he stands up with your legs wrapped around him. "We shouldn't be making out on the living room floor." He says and presses his lips against yours again. You were already a little light-headed from the alcohol, his lips trailing down your jawline, your neck, the soft breaths of his breath against your skin, it was almost dizzying. His foot pushes your bedroom door open and he places you down on the bed his lips still all over and his fingers lifting the jumper over your head. He trails his fingers over the waistband of your skirt.
"How much did you miss me?" He breathes against your lips.
"More than anything."
"How much did you miss me, Leon?"
“I was going insane." He whispers, his fingers slipping into your underwear, sliding them off and throwing them across the room. He sits up, taking his shirt off.
"Now that's just the alcohol talking."
"It's not, the time away made me realise something I should've ages ago." He said, leaning back over and kissing you. His hand trailed back down under your skirt, a finger gliding over your slit, a soft moan coming from his lips.
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twig-tea · 9 months ago
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TsukuTabe S2 Is Perfection
I’ve been waffling about what to write about Tsukuritai Onna to Tabetai Onna s2, which completed last week (and which we have access to at all thanks to the hard work of @furritsubs). I have had to just give up on getting across how much this show means to me; there's no way I'll be able to communicate these feelings with words. Season 1 was excellent but Season 2 was everything I wanted and more that I didn't know I needed. This is going to be more disjointed than usual because I don't know how to be coherent about this show (and because tumblr ate my first two attempts).
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At its core, Tsukuritai Onna to Tabtetai Onna asks what if we were all just a little bit more conscientious and kind to one another? What if women were given space to be themselves and to make the choices that were best for them? This is the world of TsukuTabe, and I'm so grateful to have had the chance to inhabit it over these last four weeks. 
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I have so much love for the way Nomoto and Kasuga develop their relationship in conjunction with their relationships with the other women in their lives. Nagumo, Sayama, and Yako are integral to the success of Nomoto and Kasuga’s relationship, and they're also important relationships for the happiness of Nomoto and Kasuga in their own right. The found family vibes are immaculate. 
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The conflict between Kasuga and Nomoto this season was so perfectly them; the way they struggled with the transition from friends to lovers and being two people who are kind and giving in a relationship together and how that requires honesty and trust were both familiar conflicts that hit me hard in the feels. 
Kasuga's conflict with her family also hit me really hard. I once did the wrong thing and showed up to support my family in caring for someone who abused me, and it was a horrible experience that was ruinous to my mental health and took years to get over (and in the end they had to find a different solution anyway, which they could have done in the first place). Watching Kasuga refuse to make a similar decision, standing strong in the face of the social pressures of her parents and her aunt was so healing for me. And then to have her decision affirmed by someone of her parent's age? I sobbed in those scenes. 
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I also loved the way this season handled Nagumo’s anxiety issues and how she was given space to decide to get professional help on her own time and terms. The way her parents tried to help was also very familiar to me and realistic, and it was just a little heartbreaking how they tried and didn't understand how their attempts at helping added pressure in a way that wasn't helpful. 
The way this show covers this important beats in a person's life through these small, everyday moments, and in such a gentle way, is what I love so much about it. The show itself makes a safe space so that these subjects can come up and not feel overwhelming. 
And it's also really important to me that all of the characters get to have these moments. Sakae not only reflects on her insensitivity and the unfairness of Japan not having marriage equality, but she also reflects on the pressures on her to marry and whether she actually wants that for herself. Fujita not only helps Kasuga gain proxy acceptance for her choices but gets the same back for herself around her decision to divorce. All of these women live in ways that invoke social stigma, and the way this show gives explicit permission to these women to live their best lives is both cathartic and critical.
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I can't end this disjointed ramble without talking about the character I most identified with this season, Yako. Yako is an older, self-actualized asexual lesbian who makes friends with Nomoto on the Internet, recommends lesbian films to her, and mostly listens and affirms as Nomoto goes through her own process of discovering herself. I ran a GSA and have been on the Internet a long time, I've been in Yako’s position a lot (though I can only aspire to be as kind and wise). She is so patient and so genuinely happy for Nomoto when she and Kasuga get together, and she seems so quietly thrilled to have more wonderful people in her life willing to indulge her random party ideas. Her sharing a connection to a LGBTQ+-friendly real estate agency while being angry on their behalf that she even has to was perfection. 
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It's so important that these characters say the things they say aloud. I want to inscribe every sentence of this show into everyone's brains. This show is perfect, and lovely, and a warm bath, and a hug, and a cup of your favourite warm beverage perfectly fixed to your liking all in one. If you haven't done yourself the favour of watching yet, I highly recommend that you do so immediately. 
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[not an ID: Real footage of the entire audience's satisfaction and catharsis after watching TsukuTabe S2. Actual ID in alt text].
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quinngefail · 2 months ago
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So apparently at 19 Lawrence got institutionalized for 6 months from a psychotic breakdown. I’m pretty sure it’s mentioned in one of the video games. Do you think he’d tell Adam about it? How you you think adam would react? (Also why do you think he even had a breakdown?) love you!!! 🩷
Omfg okay okay I haven't played either of the games yet but I intend to. I did not know about that little bit of lore, though..... But tbh it slides in so perfectly with what I've been formulating for backstory headcanons,
I haven't actually written any of this out in my Google doc yet but. I feel like rambling and just laying out the relevant parts of what I've been brainstorming for him-
Putting a cut because this got longer than I thought it would. Also- tw for talks of emotional abuse, alcoholism, and a brief sui mention- nothing super detailed, though.
So uh. I've been imagining him growing up in this wealthy, very controlling, catholic household. And even from a young age it was extremely rare for his parents to even glance at any of his problems.., One part because they were absolutely the types to guilt him with the whole "THERE ARE CHILDREN IN AFRICA STARVING AND YOU'RE SITTING HERE CRYING ABOUT SOMETHING THAT IS SO TRIVIAL" and another part because I imagine his mother was diagnosed with cancer when Lawrence was just a kid. Which was hard on everyone, of course, but this also meant less attention being put on him and his problems (ft. more guilting because you should be grateful that all you have is a scraped knee, stop crying). Basically the response to any of his struggles would very often be Stop Moping and/or Go Pray About It y’know-
Sooo even at a young age, he quickly developed this mindset that none of his problems were actually 'real', because he had it drilled into his head again and again that he was in a far more fortunate + blessed position than others. Which yeah obviously he had a great deal of privilege on his side from the get-go, but he's still allowed to express hurt and his need for love and care, y’know,
So he just starts repressing everything, holding it all inside. Internally minimizing and invalidating just about anything that made him upset. He does this for years, and years. And by the time that first year of college rolls around, he now has the most independence in his life that he's ever had, finally away from that very, very controlling household... And I very much imagine him as the type to just go off the rails almost immediately, especially in the drinking department. His grades rapidly slip, and he knows there will be hell to pay when his parents inevitably find out about all of this- but it's easier to just sit back and drink, and let his cares about everything slip away.
And of course, his parents do indeed find out. And there is indeed hell to pay. More so from his father, though, as his mother's condition has been rapidly deteriorating, which was certainly just one of the many motivators for Lawrence's drinking. And it's not long before she does pass away, which I think was a final straw of sorts for his mental health.
Between the bottles and bottles of repression he's been holding in for years, the drinking, the fact that he's fucked up so badly with college + absolutely fuckin wasted an amount of time and money, the sheer outrage and disappointment from his parents, his mother's death, and the shattering of his already shaky faith (because evidently, praying for his mother's health didn't do a goddamn thing)... It's a wonder he didn't break sooner,
So then this is where him being institutionalized just SLIDES IN SO EASILY... And I do think right before this happened, he had attempted to take his own life, unable to deal with it all. The treatment helps him back onto a straight path. And maybe he'd already been interested in the medical field, but the loss of his mother was sort of the final push towards wanting to pursue oncology specifically. So after being released, it's college take two: and it goes far better than the last time.
However, he develops this fear of losing control again. He finds comfort and necessity in order. He almost needs it to feel okay. He still has a hard time voicing and downplaying his problems, though, still feeling like they're not 'real'... This being a particular souvenir from growing up that he just can't seem to overcome.
He's also not at all surprised to get a call (in either his late 20s or early 30s) that his father had drank himself to death. Just seemed inevitable.
Then, to cut to the Becoming Closer With Adam Era, I don't imagine he has a hard time explaining that both of his parents have passed away, and why. But he has a very hard time disclosing everything else that happened. Because his problems aren't 'real', of course, and it's just an extremely touchy subject for him in general. Been imagining for a while now that he has this whole Thing where he's far more focused on helping Adam with his own problems- and y’know, part of that is just the fact that when they finally reunite in my AU, Adam is obviously deeply in need of help, because things have gotten bad for him in the months following the bathroom trap. But another part is just Lawrence still having troubles with expressing his own struggles; whether they be traumatic incidents of the past, or the more current Jigsaw related traumas.
Adam eventually catches onto this, especially as his problems become less urgent. And while he's not necessarily going to interrogate Lawrence over anything, he does begin to more frequently urge him to talk about things when he's obviously upset. Lawrence still isn't as good at masking as he thinks he is, much to his dismay. Something specific that I imagine Adam reminding him, with a earnest voice of kindness and patience, is that "this isn't just about you helping me, it's about me helping you, too."
Lawrence does eventually start to open up more about his more current struggles, but it takes a good, long while before he begins scratching the surface of that period of his life. They would be upsetting conversations for the both of them, of course, but the fact that they happen at all are just testaments to the trust they've built together. They feel safer and safer being vulnerable with one another, and it brings them closer together.
And maybe, it brings them closer and closer to things finally just feeling okay.
...WOOH If you are here, thank you for reading- didn't think I was going to ramble this much, but EVIDENTLY I HAVE MORE THOUGHTS ON THIS THAN I REALIZED LMAO..... WHEN I SAY I HAVE A SMALL NOVEL WORTH OF THOUGHTS ABOUT THESE TWO I'M NOT LYING HRKSKGK
A lot of this is also still in the brainstorming stage at this point, so things may be subject to change :] WE SHALL SEE...
And thank you for the ask, and the kind words!!! I hope you enjoy my brainrot HSKGK
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oneforthemunny · 1 year ago
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hi! this is so silly lmao but my birthday is on tuesday the 21st (barf im turning 25) BUT if your requests are open, i was wondering if you could do a little eddie blurb (any one of the eddie’s i love them all sm) dealing with the readers birthday and how she doesn’t want to make a big deal of it (she secretly wants to but shhh) because aging is freaking her out but eddie makes it special and calms her down (this is soooo not self indulgent at all not in the slightest that would be soooo silly and crazy)
so sorry if this request is like so vague i’m just going through it fr! i love your work ive been binging it so much lately. no worries at all if you can’t get to this. okay i’m going to shut up talking now. love u!
happy happy birthday!!!! i've been saving this one for you <3 also 25 is so fun!!! anything but 23 truly. for this... i'm going with mafia!eddie lol. hope you enjoy!!!
"Baby," Eddie hummed, rounding the corner with a telephone note in hand. "Rosie said you got a call to confirm your appointment with Dr. Crothers?" His eyes met yours carefully, bleak, but scanning.
"Are you feeling alright?" He pressed, looking at you through the bathroom mirror. Your rigid posture, how you froze- even for just a moment- when the name was mentioned. Eddie didn't miss it.
"Yeah," You nodded, fingers brushing over your brows, smoothing them into place. "I- It's not that kind of appointment."
Eddie paused, waiting for you to continue. "What kind of appointment it is then?" He pressed, voice even and calm. "You're- You're not-"
"-No." You shook your head quickly. "No, I-I'm not. It's just for botox, Ed." The heat rushed to your cheeks, head ducking down to your chest.
"Botox?"
"Yeah, just a little bit. I-I read that you're supposed to get it early before you start really showing signs of aging, and it will help you not look so old in the future." You were rambling, heart buzzing furiously.
"You don't look old, baby." Eddie shook his head lightly, shoulders dropping.
He knew what this was about. You'd been off since the start of the month- your birth month. A whole month where all Eddie wanted to do- and did do- was spoil you, smother you in affection and drown you with gifts. Instead, you'd been cold, reserved.
"You don't have to do that." Your voice was soft, eyes dropping to the counter. "I'm twenty five-"
"-Exactly." Eddie rolled his eyes, scoffing lightly. "What's the matter? You're still young. Still hot." He muttered, tattooed hands brushing over your jean clad ass, squeezing your right cheek gently.
"Stop." You giggled gently, his lips finding your neck, nose buried in the perfume soaked skin- perfume he'd just bought you- lips sucking playfully at the sensitive skin.
"What's wrong?" Eddie muttered, arms heavy around your waist, an anchor that pulled you into him, steadied you. "Why are you being like this?"
You let your head rest against his shoulder, deflating in his hold. "I just feel weird." You mutter. "Getting older is weird. I still feel like I'm seventeen sometimes."
"Well, I'm glad you're not." Eddie snorted lightly, grinning at you through the mirror, squeezing your sides to make you squeal. "Glad you're twenty five. I hope you always get older with me."
You blushed, head lolling to the side, looking up at him. "You're sweet."
"I mean it." Eddie muttered, nose brushing over yours. "Not everybody gets to get older. A lot of people around me would've given anything to get older, keep having birthdays. It's not a bad thing."
You knew he was talking about his mom, maybe Jacob- his old business partner and friend.
"Besides, on birthdays," Eddie grinned, pulling away gently. "You get gifts."
"You do that all the time." You mumble, letting him pull you out of the bathroom, tugging on your hand, leading you to the stairs.
"Yeah, but not like this." Eddie grinned, that glint of devious excitement in his eyes, leaving you spinning.
He covered your eyes with his hands, a side stepped kind of dance into the sitting room, off of the garage.
"I told you not to get me anything else." You laugh, hands on his wrists to steady yourself while he guided you. "You already got me too much."
"Yeah, you're gonna like this one though, baby. Promise." You could hear Eddie's smug grin through his tone. "Alright, Gare."
There was a shuffling, a grunt of struggle from Gareth, and for a second- you really were clueless what Eddie could have possibly gotten you.
Then you heard it.
The faint whine of excited struggle.
The gasp that tore from your chest had Eddie flinching. You shoved his hands off your eyes, blinking to clear your vision, when you saw Gareth.
Standing in the middle of the room.
Wrangling a squirming, excited puppy in his arms.
"You-You didn't." Your hands flew to your mouth, eyes shining up at Eddie. He stood proudly, smile beaming with joy.
"The shelter in Bedford called last night. Gareth went and got him this morning." Eddie shrugged. "Happy birthday."
You took the excited, squirming puppy from Gareth, a sweet, baby Doberman that looked just like his brothers but with floppy ears that were too big for his size- it made your heart melt.
"Oh, look at you. You are so precious, yes you are." You cooed, nose nuzzling into the soft fur. The puppy whined excitedly, licking at your cheeks, clawing up your shoulder to get closer to you.
"He's so sweet!" You squealed, hugging the puppy closer. "You're so sweet." You look at Eddie, love drunk and starry eyed.
"Anything for you, beautiful. You know that." Eddie muttered, finger hooking under your chin, pulling you in for a sweet kiss. Well, part of a sweet kiss, until the puppy was licking at the both of you. Eddie snarled, wiping his face dramatically, your pouting glare stopping him from snapping.
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fizzyapplecandy · 3 months ago
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The Friendly Ghost Girl
Genre: fluff, angst, strangers to lovers, happy ending (different from each person's perspective)
warnings: character death, heavy themes
4.9k words
Summary:
Is there life after death? After meeting a stranger on his deathbed, a friendly ghost decides to stick around to help him find his peace.
Sometimes, things don't turn out the way you want them to.
You imagine what your life will look like two, five, ten years from now.
A house in the suburbs, a cozy fireplace where you tell Christmas stories, a fluffy dog sitting in the corner...
You get the gist.
Unfortunately for me, this will never be the case.
As I stand over my lifeless body, limbs sprawled on the pavement, paramedics rushing around the scene, I can't help but wonder one thing.
Is death truly the end?
I was an honour student in high school. The best grades, the most accomplishments, medals in every competition there were. College came naturally to someone like me. With a major in business, I was on the way to becoming a success. I could feel it in my veins.
The only thing I feel now is the light breeze coursing through my body as I sit on the edge of a bridge.
In theory, if you fall from this height, you'll probably end up dead. In practise, I am already dead, so this doesn't apply to me.
I don't know what went wrong. One minute I was laughing with my friends, stumbling around after one too many tequila shots, and the next...
I shake my head as the image of running cars passes before my eyes. I feel bad about the people who were with me that night. The sight was not pretty.
I was about to leap from my spot and disappear into the night when I heard whimpering from my right. There are many people crossing over this bridge, but mostly with their cars. I turned my head around and there he was.
Standing a couple of feet beside me, a handsome man leaned down to look into the flowing water under the high bridge. He had a solemn expression on his face. His eyes were red, nose runny, fingers almost blue in colour.
What caught my attention the most were his blood stained lips, and his bare feet.
He looked like he was on the brink of death.
He gripped the railing, and sniffled. I almost felt bad for him, but then I remembered he was the one with a beating heart.
I scoffed.
"Pathetic."
His eyes widened and he turned towards me.
Our eyes met.
Wait?
He could see me?
"Hey there. Isn't it dangerous to be sitting on a ledge so high up?"
"Almost as dangerous as going barefoot in this cold weather. On a non-pedestrian bridge."
A tight lipped smile stretched across his face.
"Fair enough."
I jumped back down and came to a stop before him. He was even prettier up close. With his high nose, foxy eyes and the cutest little mole underneath one of them.
That didn't change the fact that he looked too ill to be standing.
"Is there a reason you chose to come here like this?"
He nodded.
"You see, you are a complete stranger. Which makes it good, because you aren't biased to me personally. Which further means you can give out your honest opinion."
Weird, but hey, he's the first person I've talked to in... Well, I don't know how long.
I crossed my arms in front of me and gestured for him to continue.
"You see... I'm dying. Like, for real. I have had this autoimmune disease and it's been a pain in my ass for ages now. The doctors don't know what to do anymore. They say I'm not going to be able to walk for much longer, or talk. And everything else that comes with being alive. So, to retaliate, I'm going to jump off of this bridge while I'm still myself. I don't want to die tied to bed."
He took a deep breath after finishing his rambling, and it's to say I'm surprised is an understatement.
I took it all in before looking into his eyes. I could tell he was struggling.
"Listen up good buddy, because you aren't going to believe me. I, for one, can say that death is boring, but bearable. If I was in your shoes, I'd do the same. However, seeing as I'm already dead, I can't really help you. I get the point, but it's a stupid one."
He let out a barking laugh. God, was it annoying.
"Okay, I'm probably already far gone. Or you are just a seriously crazy lady. There is no way you are dead."
Was he calling me a liar?
"I'll have you know I am as dead as it can be. Buried six feet under, white casket and all that jazz." I did like my white casket.
He started shaking his head. "Cut it out, I'm supposed to be the neurotic one."
Before he could move, I went right through his body.
He froze. Slowly, he turned around. His face became even paler than before.
I smirked.
"Told you I was dead."
He stood there, looking at me, mouth wide open.
"But... How? I see you! I know I see you!"
With his finger pointing at me, he couldn't stop fidgeting.
"I know that. I don't have a single clue either. However, you are the first person who's talked to me in months, so I don't want to question it."
"Fair point. Does this mean..."
"There you are!"
I turned around and saw a tall man running towards us. Well, my new friend to be exact.
"We've been worried sick Wooyoung! You can't just leave like that! The nurses are going around the hospital like lunatics. Your mom is in shambles. And you're barefoot, again! Are you insane?"
The boy, Wooyoung, put his hands up in defence.
"Okay, okay. Calm down Mingi. I know it all too well."
Tall man, Mingi, ran straight through me and grabbed Wooyoung by his shoulders. Rude much?
"I'm sorry about the yelling. I'm just glad I found you. Come on, we have to go back, it's freezing out here."
Wooyoung nodded and glanced at me.
"We're going to the Seoul Medical Center, the one across from the main shopping mall?"
Mingi furrowed his eyebrows.
"Why are you being so specific? You know where we're going."
By the look in Wooyoung's eyes I knew that information was for me.
I nodded and waved him off.
"I'll come find you later buddy, go now. You've made a mess out of your friends and family."
Mingi ushered him inside his car and I watched them drive away into the night. Wooyoung turned around and watched me as they disappeared along the road.
"Seems like this isn't going to be so boring after all."
.
.
It's been a few days since my encounter with Wooyoung. The only living person who knows of my existence. I've yet to go visit him in the hospital. I have to admit I'm afraid.
Afraid that all of it was just a moment, and if I appear again, I'll be invisible.
It's also fun to keep men on their toes.
It all came to an end when I found myself in front of his hospital room. It's easy to get the information you need when you are invisible.
I looked into the little window and saw him sitting on his bed, a tray of untouched food beside him. He was gazing at the sunset with a small smile on his face. I took one step inside and cleared my throat.
"Well, here I am. You probably can't hear me anymore. So bye now, it was nice meeting you."
I turned on my heel when he interrupted me.
"Wait."
Shoot. Here we go.
"I hear you. I see you. Don't worry, I'm just spaced out at the moment. This new medication is a pain in my ass."
I nodded and slowly moved towards him.
"Hey I get it. We're not in a normal situation anyway. How have you been? Still thinking about jumping from bridges?"
He snorted a laugh.
"You wish. They've been keeping an eye on me since that night. Security had been notified of my escape plans. Now I have guards surrounding my door at night." He turned to look at me.
"You know, I'm jealous of you."
What? Of me?
I pointed to myself. "You're jealous of a dead girl?"
He nodded. "Yep. You get to do what you want without any consequences. Like, really, you can go anywhere you want, see the world, scare people..."
I put my hands up to stop him.
"Okay. Hold on. You think this is fun? I'm literally a ghost. No one can see me, my family put me into the ground, and I'm constantly levitating. You know how lonely I get?"
He was silent so I continued my rant.
"I've been contemplating for days about visiting you. You are the only thing that made me feel human again. You see me. You hear me. You annoy me as well."
Wooyoung chuckled. "I get that a lot."
"You probably deserve it."
"Put yourself in my shoes for a second. I'm living every day thinking it's my last. My friends keep crying, my family's already planned out my funeral. They are asking me about floral arrangements! They want me to be a part of it, even when I'm dead and cold. I just want to go on my own terms, without this whole ordeal."
"My mom put red roses on my casket even when she knew I liked pink ones better."
He shut his mouth and looked at me in confusion.
"What?"
"What I'm trying to say is, those things don't matter. They want you included because they think it's the only way to make you feel more comfortable about the fact that you are dying."
"I get that. I do. But they are suffocating me."
"Too bad for you then. I'd kill to have conversations like these. Wanna know something funny? More like morbid. They couldn't let my parents see me until they put my head back onto my shoulders. A truck came out of nowhere carrying glass plates. And what do you know? One fell, started an avalanche, I was too drunk and carless and here I am!"
I gestured around me as I stood up.
"You have to get that through your head. Not everyone has a support system like you do."
He looked down at his bare feet.
"I'm sorry you died."
"Yeah, me too."
I sat next to him again. I knew he was at a crossroad. Not a single person in the world would like to be in his shoes now. Death is a tricky bastard. I tried putting my hand on his shoulder, but it went right through.
He shivered. "Woah, that felt weird."
"I guess. Sorry, I don't know why I did that." I gazed out the window while he searched my face with his curious eyes.
"You know, for a ghost, you're really pretty."
I scoffed.
"Yeah, thanks."
I couldn't help but wonder if my cheeks would have flared up at the compliment if I was alive. They probably would. He wasn't so bad to look at, but I can't make myself tell him that.
It felt comfortable, sitting next to him in the silence that followed. It was almost... Normal.
Like he was a guy, I was a girl, we were in the moment, that was it.
"You know you never told me your name?" I turned my head towards him and hummed.
"Yeah, I guess. I'm Y/N. Renowned ghost girl."
I put my hand out for him to shake, even though I knew it was impossible. Still, he reached over and our palms were inches away, doing a make believe handshake.
"Nice to meet you Y/N. You already know who I am. Tell me Y/N, how is ghost life treating you?"
"Well it was rough at first, because I didn't have a clue what happened. After a while it becomes... Boring I suppose. I do have fun going around different places, but I never seem to find any..." I trailed off and looked at my hands.
"I never seem to find peace. It's what I want the most."
Wooyoung sighed. "I guess peace is the one thing everybody's looking for."
"You know, I've met some other ghosts, but only briefly. They all moved on from this in between space faster than me. I don't know what I'm doing here. I've made my piece with the fact that I'm dead. I've said my goodbyes. So I don't know why I'm still here."
"Maybe there is something you haven't done? Think about it. There has to be a thing you didn't do, never had the chance, and now you can't settle."
I blinked at him. Then it came.
"I've never been in love." Wooyoung choked.
"What?"
"I've never loved someone. Sure, I liked the guys I've been with, but there was never a person I've fallen in love with. I didn't think that would set me back so much."
"That kind of makes sense."
"If this is what's holding me back I'm going to be here forever."
"And why is that?"
I looked at him and sighed.
"If you haven't noticed already, I'm dead. No one is going to fall in love with a ghost. But, hey, at least I will get to witness flying cars in the future."
Wooyoung chuckled. "I like your sense of humor. Don't worry about being alone though. Once I'm gone, I'll be at your side looking at the flying cars."
"You want to tell me you've never been in love as well?"
"Never, not once. It's difficult to date people when you are bound to your bed most of the time. They can't handle it."
"Well then, my friend, we are going to have a blast."
Our eyes met and I couldn't quite place the feeling in my chest. It kind of tingles? Wooyoung is a handsome boy, even with the obvious signs of his illness showing. He is also quirky, but in a good way.
He cleared his throat.
"My mom's going to be here soon. She always comes in the late afternoon, says it's the calmest time in the hospital. I want you to stay, but I might feel awkward."
I stood up and went to the door.
"No, no. I get it. I've got places to be anyways. Listen, Wooyoung. Try not to make this time miserable for your parents and friends. This is all they have left with you. Be more positive, okay? I'll be by your side in the meantime. It doesn't hurt to have a friend who knows the ropes, if you get what I mean." I smiled as I gestured around myself. He nodded and watched as I disappeared through the wall.
The cavity in my chest was getting a lot tighter lately, and now it seemed like it was going to suffocate me. Jokes on you, I'm already dead.
.
.
Two days later I went to see him again. I wish I didn't.
He was hooked up on various machines, his face even paler than before. And here I thought I was the ghost.
A nurse was checking his vitals before letting out a sigh and walking outside. I was careful to approach his bed, afraid of disturbing the peace in the room. Once I got closer, I could see just how much worse he looked than the last time I was here.
I carefully sat in the bed and cleared my throat.
"Hey there... You look rough buddy." I shook my head. "Sorry, that was rude. What happened in the last couple of days Wooyoung?"
It was difficult to look at him. I couldn't quite place the feeling in my hollow chest, but it wasn't good.
I knew it was a shot in the dark, but I had the sudden urge to hold his hand. I reached over and lightly placed my fingers in his cold hand.
Wait?
Cold?
I furrowed my eyebrows and squeezed his hand.
I could feel him? I could actually feel his skin?
"Oh my... Wooyoung! It's a miracle, look! I can touch you! Hey, buddy, you've got to wake up. I can't be the only one excited about this."
He was as still as a statue.
"Come on Woo. Wake up and look at me."
He still wasn't giving any signs of waking up, but the beeping of his heart monitor became louder. Soon enough the machine started going loud and crazy. Nurses rushed in and I quickly moved away. As soon as I let go, his heartbeat became normal.
We all looked at him in confusion. Was he actually able to feel me in his unconscious state? The nurses went around, double-checking everything. My eyes were focused on his face. I could see his eyelids fluttering.
Soon enough, he slowly opened his eyes and looked directly at me. The nurse shot a light at his pupils, but he tried moving her away without breaking our gaze.
They fussed around some more while I stood waiting patiently. He never moved his eyes from me.
As soon as the door closed, he let out a tired chuckle.
"So, touching me in my sleep? Very naughty of you Y/N."
I wasn't sure if ghosts could blush, but I sure felt a bit warm.
"Hey, it wasn't like that and you know it."
I came closer and sat on the edge of the bed again.
"Wooyoung. You felt it, didn't you?" He nodded.
"I don't know how this is possible Woo."
He smiled. "I like it when you call me that."
He let out a sigh. "I suppose this is a sign. I am about to die, you know? Maybe the spirit forces and gods want me to get used to it."
His ramblings were far fetched, but kind of made sense.
"Well, I mean... I don't know. But, it's nice to finally feel something real." Without hesitation, I placed my hand on his again. He interlaced our fingers and moved his thumb to caress my hand. I felt slight tingles running through my palm. It felt... Nice. Warm, comforting, everything I've missed since my untimely death.
"You're really cold Y/N. I should get used to that."
I laughed. "Yeah, that's one thing you won't be able to escape. But it's okay, you won't notice it. Or you'll get used to it."
He nodded.
"You know, I'm glad I met you Y/N. At least now I know I won't be so alone once I pass. I think about you when you're not here. It makes me happy I suppose. Now, I do have one request from you."
I could hear his voice getting weaker. I knew he was tired, so I nodded for him to continue.
"Will you wait for me? I know you have the whole world to explore, and maybe you want to move on quicker, but please... Wait for me to come. I don't want to be without you."
He squeezed my hand with the little strength he had, his pleasing gaze almost piercing me.
He wanted me? I've never had someone so desperate for me, since I knew I was nothing special. But Wooyoung thought I was, and that should count for something.
I placed my other hand on his cheek. His eyes widened, but he didn't move away. He almost leaned into my touch.
"I'll wait for you Woo. I can't leave my only friend hanging."
His mouth stretched into a wide smile and he grabbed the hand that was on his cheek, caressing it lightly.
"Thank you, Y/N."
I nodded and untangled myself from him before standing up. I went towards the door and turned around to look at him.
"I'll leave you now, but I'll come back. Rest for now buddy, you've had a rough day." He nodded and waved.
"Bye angel, see you soon."
.
.
Life doesn't care if you are happy. It always finds a way to mess with you. Once you get too comfortable, it slaps you so hard you get whiplash. I don't know if people can die from heartbreak, and I'll never find out as I'm already dead. I suppose it could be possible.
I wasn't happy about the fact that Wooyoung was dying. That's absurd. I was happy that we found each other in our darkest moments, finding comfort in one another. I was imagining what life on the other side would be like once he joined me.
I came to the realisation that I've fallen for him in a way. Being inexperienced in love, and then seeing how good it could feel gave me a wave of happiness.
About three days have passed since I've seen him. I promised I would come back once he got a bit more stable, but I was prepared for the worst.
What I wasn't prepared for is seeing him almost jumping around his room in glee. His cheeks were rosy, his feet no longer bare, and his laugh filled out the room. He looked healthy.
There was a pang of anxiety running through me.
The worst part, he didn't even notice me. The room was full of his friends. I remember the talk one from the night on the bridge. Mingi, was it? The others were called Seonghwa and San. I gathered as much sitting in the corner of the room, watching them interact.
He usually gave me a sign if he knew I was there, but now there was nothing.
It brought me joy to see him so happy, but I had an internal conflict. Didn't we agree to be with each other? Was it so impossible for me to be happy, after everything? I knew my happiness would cost Wooyoung his life, but I was desperate at this point. I couldn't help but accept the fact that he was better, and he no longer stood on death's door.
His friends left after a while and we were alone. He sat on his bed and gazed out the window. He sighed, his smile going down.
"Hey Y/N. I don't know if you're here right now. I don't know if I can see you anymore. Wanna hear something funny? The doctors said my test all came back really positive. After the other night when we held hands, I only got better. I think you helped me in a way. You know, I was actually excited to be with you. I... I think I fell in love with you. Maybe you were a fragment of my imagination? My body isn't exactly in its best condition. Who knows... Thank you Y/N. I want you to find peace." He took a deep breath and shook his head.
"No, wait... I know I might sound insane and selfish, but... I don't want you to go. I want you here. I want you to be here. Why is it so hard for us to be happy? We could've been happy! My God Y/N I can't... I miss you..."
Tears slowly made their way down his face. My eyes stung, but I knew I wasn't able to cry. It broke my non-beating heart to see him like this. He was in complete shambles over me, a ghost. Someone who isn't real anymore.
I slowly approached his side and sat next to him. I made sure we didn't accidentally touch.
"Hey Woo... It's okay buddy. We knew it was impossible from the start. Everything we had was impossible. But it's going to be okay baby. You're going to get even better in time. You'll find a nice, pretty girlfriend. She would have to get used to your sarcasm, but with the amount of charm you possess it won't be difficult. I'm going to miss you, though. You've made me happy these past few weeks. Thank you for that. I might be able to move on finally. I did the thing I've never done before. I fell in love."
I knew he couldn't hear me anymore, but it felt comforting to confess to him.
He was wiping away his tears and smiling. His wanted to place his hand on the bed, but he accidentally put it on my outstretched palm.
Wait.
I quickly moved away and stood up. He shot up as well.
"Y/N? You felt that, didn't you? I knew you were here! I'm sorry, I'm so sorry Y/N! Please don't go away, stay with me. Just for a moment longer. Please..."
He crouched down and leaned his back against the wall, sobbing again. It was hard seeing him so distraught.
I sat next to him and slowly leaned my head against his shoulder.
He let out a cry.
"Thank you Y/N... Just for a moment. Be here for just a moment longer."
And so we sat there. The room was quiet, aside from his desperate sobbing. It was as bittersweet as it gets.
He calmed down after some time and I felt his breathing get even. He fell asleep with his head against mine.
I slowly stood up and made him comfortable on the floor. I didn't have the strength to move him to the bed, so this would have to do.
I moved his hair out of his eyes, caressing his cheek and that cute little mole he had. I slowly leaned down and placed a gentle kiss on his forehead.
"I wish you all the best Woo. I'll see you, someday. Goodbye."
With that, I disappeared into the night.
.
.
The view from the bridge was the same as that fateful night. The flowing water from bellow was calming my mind though. It brought me a sense of tranquility. It's been a week since I've said my goodbyes to Wooyoung in the hospital. It's been difficult to say the least. I can't stop thinking about him, our late night conversations in his hospital bed, the promises we've made.
I knew it was selfish of me, but I was sad, so I allowed myself to be selfish for a moment.
I couldn't bring myself to visit him anymore. It would be too difficult. I knew he had enough of a support system beside him.
I couldn't help but wonder if he missed me as much as I missed him. I'm a smart girl. I know he will find someone to fill up the space in his heart again. He will have a big family house, Christmas morning in front of the fireplace, with a fluffy dog sitting in the corner.
I want my dream to become his because I know he can make it true. That's all I needed to make peace with the situation.
There was a light ahead of me. Somewhere down the river, shining so bright it could hurt your eyes. I knew what it was as well, but I couldn't bring myself to cross over.
The universe thought I was ready, but I wanted a couple more minutes to take everything in.
"Sitting on the bridge, again? You know if you jump you won't die, so what exactly is the point?"
I froze. Not only am I a ghost, I am an insane ghost.
"What? You won't look at me anymore? I know we had some bumps in the road Y/N, but I thought we had a connection, you know?"
I slowly turned to my left, and there he was.
Standing in all his glory, dressed to perfection, with his eyes no longer tired but mischievous.
"Wooyoung?"
He smiled. "Hey there. Long time no see."
I jumped down and took a couple of steps towards him.
"How in God's name is this happening? Woo? Are you... Dead?"
He nodded.
"Burried six feet under and all that jazz."
My eyes widened.
"But how? You were better! Wooyoung! You didn't do anything stupid, right?"
He put his hands on his hips in a sassy manner.
"Hey, that was one time. Do you have that little faith in me? I died completely naturally, I'll have you know. The doctors told my parents I had a jump before the big fall. That usually happens to patients who are on their deathbed. Had me fooled though, I thought I was going to be miserable for the rest of my life."
In a second his hands were around my waist, squeezing me in a hug.
"But I can't say that I mind now. I knew my time was done, and I've made my peace. What I couldn't make peace with was not seeing you for the rest of my life."
My arms went around his shoulders and you couldn't tell who's grip was tighter.
"Wooyoung, I'm so sorry..."
He took my face into his hands and put our foreheads together.
"Hey now, don't be sad. I told you, I've made my peace. I'm okay. I've said my goodbyes. I've made floral arrangements with my mom. All is well."
I chuckled and nodded.
"So now what?" He smirked.
"Now I kiss the shit out of you."
With that, he crashed his lips onto mine. We didn't know where to hold onto anymore, moving our hands around, feeling every inch of each other. The kiss was desperate, full of unspoken emotions that were begging to be let out.
It's a good thing we don't need to come up for air, because we couldn't stop ourselves.
After what felt like ages, our lips disconnected and our eyes met. He smiled.
"I love you Y/N. I hope you know how much you mean to me."
I smiled as well. "I love you to Woo."
A bright light appeared before us. He looked at me before grabbing my hand.
"I think this is our sign Y/N. Are you ready to spend eternity with me?"
I nodded. We turned towards the light and started walking.
"Thank you Wooyoung. I'm at peace now as well."
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ninjagirlstar5 · 3 months ago
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So, uh, I might've gone a little crazy last week and came up with a Kanade Concept rewrite. (And made some redesigns of IRL!Kanade and IRL!Hibiki to reflect that.)
SO, for context, if you've been following me for awhile (or just came across some of my posts in the past), you'd know that my friend and I have been playing through SDRA2 for fun and it's around the end of Chapter 3 that I started making posts mentioning certain segments of our reactions, feelings, and some jokes. And to say we hated it would be an understatement. But I've had asks where I went on a rant about Chapter 3 more than once, so I won't repeat myself here. If anyone hasn't seen that, you can find it here, and here.
At this point, we're at Chapter 6 and during one of our after stream chats in VC, my friend, @bittersweetbeet, suddenly brought up an idea that could've tied Kanade (and thus Chapter 3) into the main plot and that was this:
"What if Kanade was blessed with Divine Luck from Utsuro like Void? Like, she wasn't in on the plan, but the reason why everything went south for her is because her luck was running out and got screwed over in the trial because of that, and was more than willing to die because she'd prefer that over losing her Fortune. It wouldn't fix Chapter 3, but at least it'd explain how she got away with all those damn murders for so long!"
I'm kinda paraphrasing here since I don't remember the exact wording due to this idea being brought up in the voice channel. But that was essentially what they said and it drove me NUTS at the time. After all, it's been brought up that Utsuro tended to bless a bunch of kids that were the same/similar age as him during his travels out of boredom, and while we don't know a lot about Kanade and Hibiki's parents to know for certain if they were bad and good (personally, I interpret them as decent people but tended to play favorites with Hibiki and accidentally neglecting Kanade, which only worsens their issues even when they try to bring them together), we DO know that Hibiki tends to bully Kanade a lot and that alone can make for a difficult childhood even when you have parents that care about you. So, with a bit of timeline adjusting, Kanade coming across Utsuro when she was, ahem, down on her luck, and getting blessed by him after she vents about her problems can make sense as this is something he's done for awhile now. And it should be noted that not every kid he blessed with Fortune had the same level of dire straits, as many had different levels of Fortune which faded away at different paces. It's why Void lasted for as long as they did since their situation was the worst of the worst so their Fortunes faded away much slower while others either succumbed to fates sooner or lost their fortunes and survived but couldn't handle being back in the same state they tried so desperately to escape from that they just...well, you know. Not every person that was blessed with Divine Luck was going to be a good person or, hell, some people can end up getting worse with the Fortunes they were blessed with instead of becoming better (like Mikado). And so, we started chatting ourselves up about this idea and I really wanted to share it here on Tumblr that I asked if it was alright if I shared it on my blog and they gave me the go ahead. I didn't share it right away, but I was thinking over how to word the post while I was at work. Which is when I realize there were...a few problems with this idea, unfortunately. Mainly this since I brought it up in our rambles channel in the Discord server to get my buddy's thoughts on it, so I'm just gonna copy and paste that:
"...I've been trying to figure out how to word the idea of Kanade being blessed by Divine Luck and I kinda realized something: how would Kanade realize her luck is fading…when she's not a part of Void? Like, she's not in on the plan from the very start so she's been reverted to a [place] where she believes that she's fine and her luck is still running strong. And how that would be conveyed to the audience…
Like, I can believe Kanade could figure it out, even if I think how the writer LINUJ showed off her intelligence to be stupid, but I'm struggling [on] how to explain how she'd figure out that she ran out of luck? She'd be surprised that things have turned on her suddenly due to her state of being reverted back to a time where her luck is strong, but would she fully understand the context to the point that she'd rather die with her sister than lose what she already have?"
Like, I could've been overthinking on that. I could've had it so that a character comments that she was just hit with a wave of bad luck and Kanade goes, "Me? The most luckiest person ever? Never! (...unless-)" But I was really struggling to come up with an answer I was satisfied with at the time and even Bertie was like, "it's stuff like this that makes it so that the only option that would fix Chapter 3 is by rewriting the whole thing." Which is something I do agree with. This idea wasn't a complete fix to everything that's wrong with Chapter 3 anyways, especially when it comes to Kanade and how the writing on her character just sank it into the depths of hell. It was simply an explanation we both really liked.
And then Bertie went on to say, and I quote, "Tbh I think it would be more interesting if Kanade hated Hibiki deeply rather than love her. It’d be cliche probably but it’s better than the weird incest-like shit we have going on here" end quote.
And I started off with a normal response agreeing and elaborating on the idea, like so:
"HONESTLY, yeah. It's better to just scrap the whole chapter and rewrite it from the ground up.
And yeah, I do agree that anything that's different than what we got in Canon is probably much much better. Although I would still want to keep the nuances of Kanade and Hibiki's status as victims of each other's toxicity. Hibiki is constantly bullying Kanade due to seeing how good Kanade is at a lot of things and is jealous of that but still cares and loves her as a sister even though she sucks at appreciating Kanade for who she is. Meanwhile, Kanade still loves her sister and willingly goes along with her bullying, going as far as to try and be meek and shy to appeal to her sister's dominant but cowardly ways but deep down she resents her for keeping her from doing things she likes even though she does genuinely enjoy spending time with her and gets jealous whenever other people get close cause it means that Hibiki won't bother to spend time with her. She often drives them away one way or another so she can have Hibiki to herself, even when nothing changes because Hibiki is her sister and she just wants her to love her and spend time with her (but not in the gross incest way and we're taking away the whole crazy serial killer thing, she's just her own level of toxic)."
And that's when I started spiraling into an gigantic ramble that lasted nearly an hour and thirty minutes (minus a dinner break) because my brain was in a creative mood that night. Enjoy my copy and pasted ramble (I won't italicize all of this to make it easier on the eyes cause if you know me by now, my writing gets very long + a bit of editing to make it a little more coherent):
"I still like the idea of Kanade being blessed by Divine Luck and being good at many skills because of it, and she's smart enough to realize that the boy she met long ago somehow changed her when she had openly vented to him about her problems the day they met (after giving him her umbrella to protect himself from the pouring rain, as she had ran away on a whim due to being fed up with her parents and her sister [at the time]). She's very grateful for what he's done for her, believing that the skills she now has can bring herself closer to Hibiki by being useful to her."
"But here's the catcher: her blessing doesn't work in the way she had hoped. Because surprise! Divine Luck has it's own set of rules despite being able to break reality as long as the chances aren't zero. Basically, Divine Luck can make you better at anything, get you anything, without having to go through the process of improving or skipping the steps that are needed to get the result, simply jumping to the result itself. However, out of everything it can change, from skills to getting someone shelter to just winning any kind of luck-based event, it cannot change a person's heart. And Kanade, despite having the skills that are "supposed" to bring her closer to her sister, only makes Hibiki even more jealous and she continues to bully her, going as far as to push her workload onto her now that she's so "good" at everything and proclaiming that she's just as good, if not better. Her blessing got her what she wanted but not what she needed in her case, unlike with the rest of Void, and she ends up paralleling Mikado as despite being blessed with Divine Luck, it did not make them better or improve their situation due to their own choices/how they used their blessing (Mikado because he constantly pursued Utsuro to the point committing crime after crime, Kanade because instead of standing up for herself and establishing her boundaries, she continued to support her sister no matter what, something that only ends up building the resentment in her heart). That's not to say that Hibiki isn't instigating most of the abuse, she is. But Kanade isn't making things better as she uses her skills to make herself seem like the better option in comparison to the people Hibiki wants to hang out with and get to know, even going as far as to scare them away to isolate Hibiki so she doesn't even have any options to choose from."
"And then, Chapter 3 rolls around and Hibiki starts to change, trying to be supportive of the group and take charge to help everyone get through the killing game. It…surprises Kanade, but she watches her sister change and grow, becoming more confident, cheerful, kinder…
…And she realizes that she hates it.
She hates the thought of her sister changing. She hates the thought of her being kinder after everything she's done to her. She hates the thought of Hibiki growing closer to these people, becoming attached and happy without her, Kanade, her own sister.
She hates the thought of being left alone again. She hates the thought that Hibiki is going to leave her again.
She hates it, she hates it, she hates it.
She hates her.
But she loves her.
She wants her to be with her, forever.
So why won't she ever look her way?
Why, why, why?
Kanade is spiraling in her head, trying to keep up her shy, sweet side up but gritting her teeth the whole time as she watches. Even when Hibiki is being kinder to her, still making her usual jokes about her but is actually trying to prop her sister up a bit more, it's only because Sora and Setsuka had suggested her to be kinder, not because she wants to. At least, that's what Kanade thinks. She doesn't want to believe her sister is changing for the better, that she's able to change at all, that she's going to leave her behind for other people again.
And when Setsuka tries to reach out to her on the third day…Kanade finally snaps.
She tears into Setsuka, accusing her of stealing her sister away from her, for giving her ideas to be better when she can't, she should never be better than she already is because if she is, she'll just abandon her and leave her all alone. Her stupid, cowardly sister can't ever hope to be on her own, she always has to rely on her, HER, not anyone else…and definitely not SETSUKA!
And before Kanade knew it, she lunges at Setsuka.
The scuffle was short…but the result was predictable."
"To elaborate a little bit more on Setsuka, she's was still pretty distant from the group as she was focused on doing what she needs for Nikei and stuff. But after Hibiki starts to break down a little and reaches out to Setsuka for help, she commits herself to stabilizing the group once more, supporting Hibiki and telling her and everyone else that she has something to tell them. But Kanade, watching this entire scene, only starts to become even more on edge as Hibiki, once again, reaches out to someone else instead of her. Despite trying to "change," Hibiki had so easily broken down once more, crying and begging for help, relying on another person for support and to "fix" everything for her. And that convinces Kanade that Hibiki can't change, she won't EVER change, and she bitterly goes to bed. But Setsuka notices Kanade's displeasure and, not knowing why she's unhappy, decides to take matters into her own hands and have a one-on-one talk with her to see if she [can] help. Unfortunately, this decision backfires on her hard, resulting in her own death.
Now, unlike in canon, Kanade panics as this was the first time she's EVER committed a murder before. Sure, she's harassed, blackmailed, and even threatened people that tried to get close to Hibiki before with violence, people that would only take her away from her. But she didn't…she never…she didn't mean to do this! But, no, Setsuka…No, no. Why should she regret this? Why should she apologize?
Setsuka was getting in the way. Setsuka was going steal her sister away.
And Hibki was still the same as she ever was. Not being "better," not ever "changing." She was still Hibiki, the bully, the sister, the bratty, snappy, fussy older sister that demands respect despite her cowardly, weak self. A sister that Kanade deeply loves…and hates."
"But she won't let her die her. She'll escape with her, a certain "ritual" should allow her to escape with her as it's an option for the blackened on the third island according to Monocrow. If she goes through with that, she can escape with her sister…and make sure she'll never change again.
But if she loses…then she'll die. She'll die…
…and she'll take Hibiki with her. For she doesn't deserve to live without her.
Kanade goes through with the ritual as fast as she could, relying on her skills (and thus her luck) to succeed in framing Hibiki and nearly gets away with it.
But, unbeknownst to her due to her current memories, Kanade's luck has been dwindling and since her situation wasn't as dire as Void's, hers has been fading away far faster than them. And ends up making a few mistakes that seem innocent enough until it all starts to pile up, with one last conclusive evidence fucking her over and revealing her to be the true culprit.
Kanade is seething when she's caught, her ego bruised and lamenting how the hell she lost, with Syobai dryly stating that her luck has run out. Kanade laughs, saying that can't be true. She's always been lucky! She's always been able to get things her way, even when she has no friends outside of Hibiki. This tips both Mikado and Nikei off that, hey, wait a minute, is she…? Of course, neither of them speak up on it due to keeping their own plans close to their chest. Everyone asks her why, why did she do it, with Hibiki grabbing her sister, begging her why she would do something like this, why would Kanade frame her of her best friend's death? A death that she caused?
And Kanade, after years of bottling up her own resentment…finally blows up at Hibiki."
"She tells her off for her bullying, of her neglecting to pay attention or spend any time with her unless she wanted something from her, and pushing all the things she doesn't want to do onto her. She proclaims that she had ALWAYS hated everything she's done to Kanade, wishing she could've done anything else, wishing that, for once in their goddamn lives, that they did something she wanted to do, not because Hibiki had chosen it. All Kanade had ever wanted was her love and affection, but she never appreciated her or all the things she's done for her. [She even went] as far to change herself to try and appeal to her sister and her wants and needs. And yet…despite everything, she still loves her. She loves the times when they would dress up together. She loves the times when they would perform together. She loves it when Hibiki actually cares for her. She loves her, because she's her sister…
And because Setsuka was getting in the way of that, she had to get rid of her. Just like everyone else…!
Everyone freezes when Kanade admits that out loud. She pauses when she realized what she said, but instead of apologizing [or even denying it], she doubles down. She admits that she drove away their childhood friend, she admits to spreading false rumors about their teacher and getting him fired, she admits to falsifying a hurtful rejection to a guy Hibiki was getting close to and pretended to be her so that she can ruin their chances of getting together when he finally confessed, she harrassed, blackmailed, threatened people that got close…and Setsuka was just another person on a long list of those that got in the way. She just…didn't mean to kill her. It just…happened. But Kanade…doesn't care about that. She doesn't care about anything anymore. It's apparent that her luck ran out…and now she's going to die.
But she's not dying alone. She refuses to die alone.
[After all, they're] sisters, right…? It's only right that they stay together till the bitter end, right?"
"Hibiki tries to back away, but Kanade grabs her just as Monocrow drags her into her execution, bringing her with them."
"The execution goes almost exactly the same but Kanade is doing her damndest to make sure Hibiki dies with her, with Hibiki trying to escape. And it seems like it was going to happen…until Hibiki beats the hell out of her with a microphone, crying and wailing for all the people Kanade had hurt in her name, demanding why, why, why. Kanade can only answer this:
"It was ALL for you. You and you alone."'
"Hibiki drops the microphone, backing away from the sister that was so possessive of her, in her hatred and love.
And then she runs away, leaving Kanade all alone.
Monocrow doesn't stop her, for this execution was only made for Kanade…and seeing her despair as she finally loses the one thing she had tried so hard to grasp onto slip away from her was enough for him to pull the lever, the platform underneath Kanade falling and killing her.
By the time Hibiki has made it back to the trial grounds, her gait is slow and unsteady, hugging herself as she stares down at her feet, processing what had just happened. What her sister had done. What she had done to everyone she knew. What she had done to Setsuka and Hibiki herself.
Why she had done it.
She had done it for her.
She had done it to keep Hibiki to herself.
She had done it because she both loved and hated Hibiki.
And the people that had been hurt because of Kanade…was because of her. Because of Hibiki. Because of all her bullying and her selfish wants, and because she didn't treat her like she should've treated her as a sister…! Because she's a horrible, awful person that hurt her own family until it was too late, her best friend dead, her sister, dead! All because of her…!!
Hibiki falls to her knees, going into dissociation as everything that she ever thought she knew and was normal shattered like glass."
"Hibiki, for the rest of the killing game, blames herself for what Kanade has done, but with Sora and co.'s help, she's able to rationalize that yes, what she did to Kanade was horrible and none of this may have happened if Hibiki had just bonded with her sister instead of bullying her…but Kanade had also made her own decisions, alienating Hibiki's friends and support from her to try and isolate her so she can try and force her to rely on her and her alone. Hibiki had done a lot of wrong that she probably can't ever make up now that Kanade is dead, but that doesn't excuse the awful actions Kanade has done either as many people were hurt from her own actions, one even losing his job and others probably traumatized from what she did to them. They were both toxic to each other and so long as neither of them were changing, that cycle was only going to continue until something broke between them…and this just so happened to be it. It's just horrible that it also ended in Setsuka's death alongside Kanade's, who was just as much a victim as she was a perpetrator."
"As for the reveal in Chapter 6, I was thinking of two options for Hibiki and Kanade's relationship:
The two of them, despite years [of] staying together as sisters and as a part of Melody Rhythm, only ended up falling apart as their toxicity turned their head as one of Kanade's past victims, their childhood friend, decides to finally come out and reveal everything Kanade has done to her and other people, even providing evidence of what she did. And the moment Hibiki found out about it, a public argument breaks out between them and Kanade finally spills out everything about her feelings on Hibiki, which only hurts both of them as Kanade had tried so hard to isolate Hibiki from other people while Hibiki had only hurt and bully her sister out of jealousy for years. But this? This was enough for Hibiki to stand up and go, "We're done here." And she leaves, cutting ties with Kanade for the shit she's done to others but also left reeling at the revelation of what her bullying and abuse had done to her sister. Was this…her fault? She wasn't sure. But she knew [she] had to make things right somehow, even if it's only for herself, reflecting on her behavior and reaching out to those that were hurt by Kanade, apologizing for everything that had happened even though it wasn't her fault that she chose to do the things she did and tried to make it up to them…if they want her, at least. [Meanwhile,] Kanade is PISSED that her sister left her, who went as far as to block her from her phone and even ending their contract as Melody Rhythm as she's left to deal with the fallout of the media bashing her for what she's done…but as time went on, Kanade is able to pick up the pieces and strikes out on her own, telling herself that she doesn't need Hibiki or the people that criticizes her for what she's done. She can do this by herself! She never openly apologizes, but she never says outright that she's happy with how things had turned out either, despite getting her career back on track…eventually."
"And then the Tragedy happens, they lose their parents, and one of two things happen.
Either 1.) the Tragedy brings them back together, with them starting off very reluctantly working together to do charities to help those in need, only to slowly and carefully rebuild their relationship while trying very hard not to fall back into bad habits as Hibiki admits that yeah, she's done a lot of horrible things to Kanade and she IS sorry for that…but she won't let Kanade hurt anyone anymore. She's trying very hard to be patient with her sister, as they know the Tragedy is a horrible thing to go through, they even lost their parents from it…but if they want to make things work, then something has to change between them, even if Hibiki is the only one taking the initiative FOR the change. Kanade is very reluctant to admit that she was EVER in the wrong for what she did…but as they continue work and bicker over the concerts they put together, their different ideas colliding but somehow coming together with the help of their coordinator, they start to…actually bond again. They start to talk things out, Hibiki is actually trying to show interest in her hobbies and the things she likes, and while she can never bring herself to like the same things she does, she's trying to be respectful and give her the time of day this time. She's trying to make things right for her, so long as Kanade never does the things she did again. And while Kanade doesn't like the same things Hibiki does, it's still a bond Hibiki is trying to nurture…and it makes Kanade question if what she did was ever necessary, that if she had just stood her ground, let Hibiki form her own relationships while searching for her own friends that she can rely [on] like the ones she had now…then maybe none of this would have happen. Maybe they could've remain as sisters, forever, if she just accepted their differences and tried to break away and do her own thing, while letting Hibiki grow as a person [as I think if Hibiki was allowed to bond with other people, she would've grew out of her bullying and become a better person, but because she never had the chance or had people that would stand up to her and let her experience the consequences of her own actions, she never grew out of that mindset as she was never put in her place before]…
[And then the killing game happens, reverts them back to their teenage selves, and they start their toxic cycle all over again until one of them literally kills and gets executed for it.]"
"Or 2.), Kanade and Hibiki remain separate, as not even the Tragedy and the death of their own parents can bring them together. Their parents funeral, one they tried to arrange anyways, only escalates into another argument, with Hibiki changing as a person…but Kanade did not. She still feels entitled to be Hibiki's one and only sister, her one and only support, and Hibiki recognizes that, deciding that it was safer that they stay separated as she NEVER wants to risk anyone else she loves coming to harm thanks to Kanade. The two part ways, with the both of them doing their own separate charity events, with Hibiki proclaiming that Kanade Otonokoji is not her sister, [not anymore], while Kanade proclaims that Hibiki Otonokoji will always be her sister, and refuses to acknowledge the fact that she had been disowned and will continue to be disowned for the rest of their lives."
"Either way, Hibiki is depressed to realize that their future together was never forever, and Hibiki had lost her sister…one way or another."
And that's it! That's the concept rewrite, plus the sprite edits since Kanade and Hibiki are no longer together as sisters and as a band outside of the Neo World Program, so their appearances reflect on that as they pursue their own solo careers. They're no longer trying to match each other, and Kanade pursues her own rock and metal music.
Oh, and while I was copying and pasting this, I had an idea that Kanade's relationship with Sora could be interesting as she's the only one that Kanade is actually okay with getting close to Hibiki...because Sora shows interests in both of them in their FTEs. She talks to Hibiki in private about her treatment of Kanade and even asked Kanade herself if she was okay as she genuinely cares about her just as much as she cares about Hibiki. This surprises Kanade as no one has ever bothered to look her way before, they always pay more attention to Hibiki than herself. And Sora makes it clear that she's genuine about this, asking her if there's anything she can do to make things better for Kanade when Hibiki is defensive about her actions. It makes Kanade feel...seen, for once in her life, and she actually likes that. So she allows Sora to get close, so long as she promises to continue being her friend, too. It's why Sora succeeds in befriending both twins while Setsuka ended up getting rejected by Kanade in the worse possible way: Setsuka unintentionally added to Kanade's insecurities by focusing mostly on Hibiki and overlooked Kanade's needs as well. She's not doing this out of ill-will, far from it. It's just that she recognized that Hibiki is a little weaker in her mental strength and her breakdowns were far easier to notice while Kanade was able to keep a cool head most of the time. So Setsuka prioritizes on supporting Hibiki first and foremost, thinking that Kanade can handle herself fine on her own. She's not completely wrong...but she's not right, either. By the time she finally notices that Kanade is hurting and reaches out to support her, it's already too late as she's finally reached her breaking point and snapped, which resulted in her own death. Just a little something to tie this whole thing off.
#SDRA2#Kanade Otonokoji#Hibiki Otonokoji#Super Danganronpa Another 2#SDRA2 Spoilers#sprite edit#Star's Art#look I won't pretend that people like canon!Kanade can't exist - me and my friend both know that#the problem is what's the POINT in making Kanade into a serial killer that's turning her sister into a puppet that it serves the narrative?#Is it meant to be foreshadowing and how that's exactly what's happening to Yuki - so he can be broken down and be replaced with Utsuro?#if so then it's not done very well since it's barely touched upon - let alone never ever called back to it ONCE - to be proper foreshadowin#And it even costed a character her own development for the sake of a twist that's nothing more than shock value - losing what could've been#-a really good character/concept in the process#and the reason why Hibiki's arc up to that point was so effective was BECAUSE she's done bad things and mistreated her sister so often#it gave us a reason to see her grow as a person because she's immature and flawed. this arc would have not worked if Hibiki was softer-#-or kinder at the start. And we just...lost that before it could develop even further.#so my approach was basically take out all the serial killer BS (and heavily implied incest) and tone down a fuck ton of Kanade's actions#She's still a toxic person but has been hiding her awful behavior for years in an attempt to keep her sister tied down to her#and just not excusing any of Hibiki's past actions or Kanade's own actions either
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rest-your-head-in-my-lap · 3 months ago
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On Being Ace and Horny
It's complicated. I've had a lot of shit going on with my sexuality for a long, long time. I've always known I was ace, this is true... Kinda hard for me to not realize when everyone else around me started going through puberty, starting feelings things like that and I just. didn't. I didn't look at people and think about them touching me. I didn't watch porn to jerk off to. I didn't feel the pull of my body's needs in the way it always felt like so many of my peers did. Many people experience this age and sexual attraction and feelings differently, this is true, but it always felt like there was something missing for me. I did and do read erotic material, sure. I've seen the same things they have. It just never clicked for me the same way. I watched and I was interested but never felt any urge besides that. Sex for me has never been a need or craving, just a dull want on the occasion. I'm simplifying a lot of details here- Point is. I personally don't experience sexual needs in the way an allo would. I've sought out content mostly to satisfy curiosity or for the more romantic aspects of the material. So there's that right? Nice and easy, I'll just never have sex or take part in those kinds of things, right? Yeah, turns out it's a wee bit more complex than that. See, I still enjoy things of sexual nature. Just because I lack sexual attraction/feeling doesn't mean I can't take pleasure from it, it's just in a different way: I view sex as a sense of being close to a person I love, as bringing them pleasure and getting my feedback from that. I enjoy people's reactions to me, I take pleasure in the more metaphorical/intangible things I'm given from the experience. Just try to imagine not being able to feel with your hands, you might still be able to ascertain texture and the like, but it'd be different from most people's methods. Complicated metaphors aside though, this means that I can also have 'kinks.' Though not exact, there are still things I favor or preferences that aren't the 'default'. I can also want or desire sexual experiences with my partner, I can want to be sexy or look hot. These are all things that similarly to allos, I experience, just not in the same way. Because of the fact that I don't entirely sway to one side or the other, I'd often feel strange about my sexuality in the past; Trying to repress all of the more sexual urges so that I could be a 'proper' asexual. But the fact of the matter is, there's no such thing as a 'proper' asexual, or a correct asexual or a correct label of any kind. People and feelings are flexible and pushing yourself into a box helps no one. I still identify as asexual and I am allowed to still identify as an asexual. I am allowed to be myself and not try and pretend I feel things I don't. Hehe, there's my little ramble-y blurb about my experiences. Admittedly I haven't reread this or anything so do forgive if it's a little circular.
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